i had the weirdest dream last night. mike told me he was joining the bloods gang. this girl from my environmental science class would rancomly show up. i was walking around downtown at night by myself waiting for sean and mike. so i went into the java joint and started to read, and there was a cute boy sitting a table or two over from me. we started talking, and he held my hand lol it was cute. he was my waitress' son. then sean texted me saying he got a new car. and that is all i remember. today is st. patrick's day and it doesn't feel like it at all. i'm doing what i should have done a long time ago. i'm separating myself from him, no more saying "i have to hang out with him because of Sean" because i don't have to. i'm done with him, and i'm tired of putting myself in vulnerable situations when he knows i'm vulnerable too. he has split personalities, and i can only handle one, the one i love. but with one comes the rest, and i don't want to be around the others and he won't change. i can't save him, like i though i could for the past three and a half years. i hope he finds someone who will save him from himself and the road he is going down, because we all know he won't save himself. it's shitty having to walk away from someone you love and care about but i'm past my limit, and there's nothing i can do except walk away from it.