when will this house ever become peaceful. it's always so tense. there's always something stirring up any chance of relaxation. i guess i'll keep dealing. i bought a bunch of string two seconds ago. and i learned a new pattern today from this girl val i work with. the boys call her boobs, and tom called her that to her face. i can't make my mind up about her, she has her ups and downs; but so does everyone else. i missed the ortley boys. despite getting about fifty ice cubes thrown at my face, i still love them. dave's going to get a job at b&b, or at least try to. i think him working there with me would be fun, even though almost every word that comes out of his mouth is bull shit. i don't mind. i ran today for the first time in a few weeks. it felt amazing, yet terrible at the same time. i ran slower than a turtle can walk, and my body still aches two hours after i got back. but i love that feeling of doing something good for myself, especially since i constantly complain about being unsatisfied with my body. maybe this time i'll keep this consistent and make it a habit. i plan on running before working ortley tomorrow morning, which requires me to wake up about an hourish earlier than normal. so let's see if that actually happens. i'm going with mike to silver lake this year--his family vacation. his mom brought it up one night, and he wanted me to go. it took him awhile to get used to the idea of bringing someone, especially me, but he finally did. i guess it's weird to him because he's never brought anyone and i guess bringing a girlfriend is kind of a big deal. so with his decision of me going, he decided that it was necessary for sean to come also. i don't mind, and it will probably relieve stresses i'll have of meeting his entire family, hoping they'll like me. but also, i was kind of looking forward to him finally wanting to include me in a family related event rather than always inviting sean. i can't blame him, it'll take time and i'll wait. and maybe i wouldn't be ready to be introduced to a higher status other than just his friend, which is what i am always referred to as. so hopefullythis time i'll be moving up in the world to 'girlfriend' status. hm, no se. i'm just happy with him and i know he's happy, and that's good enough for me.