i'm done with this bull shit. i still care, and i told Mike that last night. for the last time. i'm not going to deny that i still care because i do but somethings you have to let go and this is one of them. i'm not waiting anymore, and i'm not going to pretend i'm not waiting but really am. i'm done, REALLY done. i would enjoy saying something to him to try and make him feel like shit but it isn't worth it, i'm just walking away. i blocked him and i don't want to talk to him. i've always just pretedned i don't want to talk to him and pretended i don't want him around. this time is for real. i am done, and i will never take him back if he ever comes back which he probably will because that is just what he does. and it isn't my fault he has to see a psychiatrist, he never talked about anything to anyone. it didn't have to be me, but he didn't talk to anyone and it's not my fault he bottled stuff inside, and it's not my fault that he treated me shitty and made me question his intentions and his actions. especially since he confessed to lying about things he would do because he didn't want me to know. i'm over it, and i'm done. i deserve better. i hope to god he doesn't screw up what he has going for him in life, but i've got a gut feeling it's slipping through his fingertips. but i tried to stop him, i tried to love him, and i tried to care. he just didn't want to hear it. so now he's going to get girls younger then me who don't give a shit and will probably have sex with him the first time they hang out to make him feel better. but if he ever comes back i should feel sorry for him because he'll probably regret doing her because it doesn't mean anything like he did with chelsea. i apologize to myself for being so blind and naive.