i've come to the realization i am due for another new year resolution, even ten days after this new year began. i've thought about this for a long time, but i've never put the thought into action. and you kno how the say actions speak louder than words, well that statement is true, at least in this situation it is. over the past two or three years, i have become overly emotional. despite how many times something is said as a joke, i will take it personally every time. i overreact, and overanalyze. i can never appreaciate the present because i'm too scared of not knowing the future. i am stuck in the future, trying to form it into wat i want, in the meantime losing everything i have because i won't focus on wat i have at that moment, therefore where's my future and everyone in it? gone. not yet, but if i keep this up it will be. my jealous ways are because of my insecurity in relationships i have, and hurt them in the end. getting jealous is a sign of lacking trust, and that needs to change. i kno that what i want is for my relationships to build and get stronger, to last and be my source of happiness, but that won't happen unless something is done. the repetition of my unncecesary acts have formed who i am, and who i've been, and has made me realize i don't want to be that anymore. yes it's who i am, but wat good is it doing for me? none, and change is never completely bad, and in this situation i think all it could do is help me. i won't be that the rest of my life, so it's time now to begin the change and to get over everything that has made me insecure in my relationships for the past three years. monday night i watched band of brothers, i think that's wat it's called, with mike, sean and mark. we've been watching that for a week now, and i think there's eight dvds, each has two parts. than mike slept over, and we watched smallville, his christmas present from my mom. than i skipped school tuesday, just to sleep til four with mike. and another hardcore gym workout, we are amazing ♥