okay, this is going to be a long update. this past weekend was one of the best i've had in a long time. i've been hanging out with a bunch of different people, so it's always fun. saturday night, my friend meg and i met up with her friend andrew after we took some pictures at beachwood beach. his name is andrew and he took us off roading in this secret place of his that is crazy as hell. he told me i'd fall in love with it, and i underestimated him because i didn't understand how i could fall in love with a big area of sand. i was wrong, very wrong. it is the most beautiful place in the world, or one of them. he described it as 'the utopia of new jersey' and that describes it perfectly. it's like nothing i've ever seen and off roading is like nothing i've ever done. it was insane and i did fall in love with it. you go over a railroad track and then you're facing hundreds of acres of sand and a man-made lake in the middle. it's mysteriously beautiful back there, that's the best way for me to describe it. it eventually got dark and we found ourselves surrounded by lights from air bases in every direction. it was purely perfect, the place and the whole experience. that night meg and i were designated drivers for andrew. we planned to get him food, but instead he threw up out my car window, some of it catching on my door. i felt terrible that he was sick and that he was embarassed, but it happens. he's extremely fun to be around. sunday was mark's show at the stone pony. it was semi finals for bamboozle and they're moving on to finals on april 14! i am SO excited for them, and i'm trying to get pretty much my entire school to go. and thank god asbury wasn't a bad experience. i'll cross my fingers i get out safe next time. i died my hair darker brown yesterday. i love it, but i want it darker. meg and i went to dunkin donuts after we died my hair. i ordered, and the boy went to go make my bagel and DAN came up! oh my god so i started to talk to him, and it wasn't much but i told him last week it was up to him if he wanted to get to know me or not so i think that was his sign that he is interested at least a little. i told him i died my hair and he said it looked nice :) and i said i will do you right here, and so we did! hahahah no just kidding but i wish! and i saw him today in the halls and he said hi and smiled. i've been waiting for this for three years. nick came over yesterday after school and we talked for almost two hours. i hadn't seen him since football season, so we had a lot to talk about. he is fun, and he's good to talk to. he offered to take me to prom if i don't have a date and i might take up his offer. he would be probably the most fun prom date, although i wish i could go with dan because i really like dan but i'm not sure how that would work out. i have a week to figure it out i think. i've gotten the guts to walk up to a boy i don't know anything about and tell him i like him. there's a chance of rejection, and i've already risked that a few times. i want to invite dan to mark's show or just see if he wants to hang out, but i'm scared. i shouldn't be but i am. it's hard talking to someone while they pass you in the hallway for two seconds. i was lucky to see him at work yesterday, but i'm not going to go to dunkin donuts everyday stalking him and hoping he's there. i wish i said something last night. sean is slipping away, something is wrong and i don't know what it is. i feel like it's me, but i don't know what. it's driving me crazy though and making me sad.