i've realized i can't spend my days thinking of how much i'm not satisfied with the way i am, or ways i would have done things differently in something of the past. instead of things like that, i can be productive and get things done. who cares if someone doesn't like me? they aren't making my future happen, so why should i worry about them? what gets done while sitting on the couch watching tv and eating chocolate, thinking about what i don't like about myself of my life? something that might work is getting off my butt and running, reading a book, looking at colleges, spending time with my family, or something more productive. i've put so many things at the top of my priorities and i'm finally going to change them. i've gotten myself addicted to looking at all the negative, and worrying every second about what is on someone else's mind or what they are doing. i can't do that anymore, i've done it for too long. i finally am going to live my life the way i should be. i am going to be selfish and do things for myself, instead of waiting around for something to happen or someone to call. everyday i'm going to make an agenda of what i want to get done, and it's not going to involve checking myspace every hour or eating a box of oreos. i'm going to have faith in my boyfriend for once, i'm not going to worry myself to death only to realize he's been doing homework all night. now all i have to do is put these words into action :)