Well today school was fine, but thats not what i need to write a/b,i need to write about HIM. God why do i like him again?? did i ever honestly STOP liking him? If I did I wish I knew how, so I could do it again. He does have that power over me, the power he had in 8th grade. The type, where if he smiles at me, or even glances my way, then my day has been officially made, but if he does one thing to hint he hates me, i turn depressed. wwwwhhhyyy??? I can't take this. Last year, was interesting. I mean some of the memories I have from last year are actually very special to me, football games, conversations in the hallway(well those werent often). But then I think of the horrible memories. The rejection. The tears. And I think a/b how much i really did love him ,and how much i guess I still do. What's the point of loving someone who will never ever have those same emotions? answer that. There is no point. It's childish. It's the best and worst feeling. It's a goal, something to strive for, to get him. But its also a hassle, a distraction, and a pain in the ass(and heart) This entry is so selfish and boo hooish. But I can't help it. It's back to how it used to be. Thinking of him nonstop, whether it be in class, at lunch, whenever. Every song will make me think of him. Every time I hear his name I will turn around. Every time I hear how much he likes another girl, I'll cry when I get home. And everytime I feel that rejection from him, which will be often, I will die. Not literally. But a piece of my heart will chip off. Not the first piece, and not the last. I will complain a/b it, ask leslie for a hug, and that will be the end of what the public sees. But then I will come home, and cry to my mother, and listen to sad music, and stare at his picture. And I will want to die. I'm not just being melodramatic. I'm telling you, that's how it was, that's how it is, that's how it will always be. Because I'm not good enough for him, or anyone for that matter