Look, I know your sicking of reading this type of entry, and I promise I'm sick on writing them, so bare with me. I hate it here. I just do. I hate it. I can't even try to put on a happy face and pretend to like it because I can't find ONE good thing about it. School? no way. Sports?don't play any. Guys? right, because their all over me these days(not) and now friends?let me explain. I don't want my school friends to get mad at me for this entry because it's not exactly sweet, so if you can't handle the truth then don't read it. How good of friends are we? You'd think that since the 13 of us never want to be separated and sit at our own little table at lunch, we'd be like FRIENDS. But are we really friends? I mean I'm not saying I dislike them(ya'll), but after seeing Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants(ok so it's not completly realistic), I can't help but question who my true friends are. Then today, we were talking, and I seem to be the only one who things that close friends tell eachother things. Everyone else seems to think they should tell 2 of the 13 people and then exclude things from the rest. In the movie, they told eachother everything, and they just generally loved eachother. Do we love eachother? The previous stuff is not meant to piss anyone off, or hurt anyones feelings, because it's the truth and I think all 13 of us should get that, even though I'm positive not all 12 other girls even read my diary, in fact I don't even talk to all 12 on the internet, never on the phone. Maybe I'm the only one with this opinion. And then other friend situations are confusing. Whatever. Really losing interest in this whole thing. And did I mention guys suck? Well they do. They really really do. And my mom is obnoxious. She just bugs the hell out of me sometimes. And my dad is just...UGH..impossible. I do love talking to my friend Lauren who lives in NYC and is working on her career. She's always supportive for me, and can ALWAYS make me laugh. Plus she's always willing to discuss Broadway. If I lived in nyc, I know she'd be one of my best friends. But I am stuck in SC for another three long freaking years. I just really miss New York. I can honestly say that it's the best place on earth. I miss every detail of it, every whole in the wall souvenier store, every theatre, every church, every clothing store. It's more than a city. It's a life. A life I'm meant to lead. Why do I have to be kept from that for three more years? Doesn't it seem like if you're meant to have something, you should have it now? I wish I could say I could find something to live for here in Columbia, but really all I have is the future. Daydreams and plans. Music and autographed playbills. Responses from the fan letters I've sent to Broadway people. Sadly, that's all I have right now. All that keeps me sane. Sorry if anyone is offended or annoyed or w/e by this entry, but public or not, this is my diary and just my opinions.