I want to talk all about the weekend, but Sunday(today) is the most important and my original long entry just got deleted and I'm now a bit angry over that. Okay so everything up to Sunday: Dinner with cate at mellow mushroom, chorus line with hannah, talking to kristin and dedra afterwards, seeing Brandi after the show, mcdonalds with cate, home with cate, tradition with cate, tap where I didn't suck, showcase where we did fair, after show case talking to the only person that came to see me(my mom) and kristin who came to stalk me back(haha jk, but I really do appreciate her coming), Beauty and Beast costume fittings which was uneventful, VH1 with Cate, riding to Spartangburg, the auction/church in the lobby, cream on my face lol cate, sleep. OKAY! Today(Sun.)- I am not a morning person. If you know me, you know that, and you know that very well. So waking up today at 7:30 after not going to bed until 1:30 wasn't exciting, in fact I think I even said that I didn't want to even do the competition anymore. But once I got to the auditiorium my whole opinion changed. I sat down, and Lou did my hair, and then I went into the house. The Stage. It was like BIG! Like it was a real theatre, where like famous people came and stuff. We went backstage where there were like 20 dressing rooms. I think about 6 of us shared a dressing room, but I think even less could have shared one haha, there were that many dressing rooms. I put on my makeup, and then went back into the house to watch. I watched the solos, each one making me more nervous. Then, Shannon and I hurried backstage to put on our dresses, hats, shoes, etc. Then Hannah joined us. Then it was time to get into the wings. We watched the number before us which was Heather and Rachel's lyrical duet to For Good. Of course it was sooo beautiful and made me tear up a bit right before going on stage. The 3 of us squeezed eachothers hands and wished eachother luck(well break a leg of course!). It was time. I took in a deep breathe. Right before I went in there I thought about everything and nothing at the same time. Can I do this? Will I be able to shimmy? What if I fall? What if they can see my bra straps? What if my bobby pins don't hold and this stupid hat falls out? What if..? All of those thoughts at one time, right before performing. We went out there. And we did good! yes! I didn't mess up once. Tap isn't my strongest point, I had to work for it. And I did good. I smiled. I shimmied which is something I haven't had the courage to do for like the whole year. The judges were so close to the stage that I could see them in my peripheral vision noting our mistakes in a little tape recorder. I had to keep a smile on and focus on the dance not them. It was finally over, and I calmed down. Then, I got ready for "I hope I get it". Maybe it's my love for the show Chorus Line, or maybe it's just me. But I was very focused on being in character. I wanted to get out there as if I was really in that show, or even more really auditioning for a broadway show. I went into the warm up area and gasped. Oh I wish I could show you all, and take you there. It was this huge space and a black wall. On the black wall, was the signatures on everyone who has ever been there. The national tours of Chicago, Annie Get Your Gun, etc. That was actually when I got into character. It didn't take much work actually. I just pretended that the backstage area I was so amazed by was in NYC. We got into the wings. As I watched the number before us(Fame), I pretended it was the audition before me. This was real. and IT WAS TRULY TIME TO GO OUT THERE. When I got into my spot, there it was, Garrett's bag. Thrown carelessly too downstage, right next to me, where I could run into it. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't kick it out of the way, I couldn't do anything. But somehow I avoided it haha. Once it was time to turn around(the idea of the beginning is that we're facing the mirror watching ourselves dance), I put on my smile and threw my whole body into kicking my leg high, pointing my feet, etc. Then it was time for the first singing part, "God I hope I get it". I acted so much for this number. I want everyone to understand that. It was just a song and dance for me. It was a piece of theatre. I played a dancer determined, scared,etc. I saw Dedra backstage realizing we didn't have a mic for Alana's solo, but that was really the only problem so far. Ballet combination went well, then my personal favorite part of myself. The "better" dancers do a jazz combination with axels and such while about 6 of us stand behind them stretching or whatever. For me, I make this nervous face, then once we join the combination you see me go straight into audition smile. It's hard to write down, but I am proud of it. Then, I messed up. It wasn't a huge screw up, my legs just didn't do exactly what they needed to do during a part. Of course I hated myself for it, but I kept going as if it didn't happen. When it was time for us to get on the "line", which again is sort of hard to understand for people who don't know the context of the song or show, I was shaking with my headshot in front of my face. My body was literally overwhelmed with emotions. I looked down at the judges as we sang "what do they want from me? What should I try to be?" and then right before I walked off stage. Slightly in character, slightly as myself, I sort of looked at the stage in awe and sang "Oh God I need this job". When I got offstage, I wasn't too happy because of the little part I messed up in, but it was time for awards. I watched as everyone else placed then it got to duets and trios. And who got first place?? Hannah, Shannon, and I for 42nd Street!! I looked down at my ribbon, my first place ribbon, and knew it was right for me to be there, to want that, to dream of it. When it got to big group numbers, I didn't really plan on Chorus Line winning. Just because we never seemed that great in practice. So when he announced we won Platinum First(better than first), I was like shocked. I grabbed Mary and just like screamed. We placed fifth in the whole competition for large group numbers or soemthing like that. We also won best staging, and Dedra won two choreography plaques. We were also sort of like "aahhh". I now have two ribbons, but it's not the ribbons. It's the honor. It is sad that I needed a competition to tell me this, but now I know it. I do have a chance. And I'm not gonna let skeptical jerks affect me anyway. The rest of the day I was really grouchy. But I am just so happy right now. And sad too. Broadway Bound is over for the year, and like I'm never gonna do that number again. That number I love so much. Oh well! Atleast I got the assurance that if I want it, I can get it!!!!