For the past couple of days I've been miserable. Every single thing seemed to be going wrong. HE was sitting with our guys instead of his girlfriend so of course my heart started beating louder than drums in a rock song, and I was so positive that this meant they were together, but she was just not at lunch that day. I found out HE knows I like him. How humiliating. He must think I'm pitiful and a moron for liking him for 3 years. If I had a mind, I would get over him. But the sad part is I'll continue to wait. We'll never be together unless a miracle occurs, but until I find someone who actually likes me and who I like, I'm just gonna have to continue liking him. I'm getting annoyed with a certain few people in my school group. There are 12 of us, and I would be fine if it was just like 6 of us instead. Then I'm having another issue with friends but oh well. Last night, my mom took me to see Songs For A New World at the Chapin Theatre. Since it was directed by Dedra, I was quite thrilled. I enjoyed the show, I mean it wasn't like wonderful, but it had some talent in and some good songs. But what in the world you may ask could make me feel better after such a sucky week? I haven't written of anything positive. I can answer that question with two words, Sutton Foster. She answered more questions on the Little Women board, and her words are just so inspiring. I automatically feel better when I hear her sing, or watch videos of her performing. She's the most amazing person I could look up to. Much better than some of the other people I've looked up to in the recent years. I wrote her a fan letter last night, and since she said that she takes time to read fan letters and respond, I am excited. So yes Sutton has made me feel better about theatre stuff. But also, something hit me today. This is my life, and it's not as bad as a lot of peoples. I can sit and complain about everything but what's the point. If there's something wrong in my life, there's usually a way I can change it. I'm going to stop being so scared to talk to the older girls on the cheerleading squad. They're very nice and fun, and this season is coming to an end, and I should make more of an effort to befriend them. I should spend more time on making myself look cute. I might as well attract some guys, and maybe HE could realize what he's missing. My weight isn't as bad as it has been, so I'm not gonna go on a diet, but I'm going to attempt to eat healthier. Basically, I'm just going to be a positive person. I want to be known for brightening peoples days and smiling and stuff, not being whiny over everything. And I know I've already attempted to be positive, but I've always failed, but this time it's for real. kiss kiss!