Today started bad and somehow got worse and worse. I was exhausted. Then my stomach hurt during French. Then I got a detention for talking during English. Then I went to ballet and lied and said I had to leave 5 minutes even though I really just wanted to leave. Then, I went to get dinner at subway, but I didn't wear a bra because I was going through drive through and I was going to take a shower right afterwards, but the guy told me they only had 2 employees working so I had to come in. So, that took 25 minutes, and I was braless. So, then I didn't get to wash my hair before rehearsal so I looked hideous. Then, Jill, the stage manager, bitched me out a/b my f-ing column. When Kerri(Belle) was velcroing the back of my costume, I asked her if she had ever played something as ridiculous as a column, and she said once she was a rat. She smelled really good, and gave me a reassuring smile. As I stood there on the stage in the hot column, all I could think is-"Is this worth it?" I mean, if you told me, "Lori, if you play a column for this show, one day you're going to be a lead on Broadway, then I would be happy a/b being a column. But with fears that I'll always be a column, or girl number 3, or something like that, then being a column seems rather pointless. So, I sat on the bench backstage with a sad face. Quiet. and Kathy Sykes(Babette) started to walk past me but stopped and whispered "are you getting into character?" and I explained to her I had a bad day, and my column problem, etc. And then she told me a somewhat inspiring story about herself and how she didn't get her first role with a name until she was 28(in Chorus Line). She told me she auditioned for Oklahoma and didn't get cast(JUST LIKE ME!). and she told me if I go into an audition thinking that I don't deserve to get a role, or that the director probably doesn't want me, then I won't get cast. It seems to be a basic fact, but something I needed to hear. She then told me she was sorry if she had bothered me, and I wish I could have told her that I was just grateful she had acknowledged my presence, the fact she tried to cheer me up was just a complete bonus. Then, Jason(Gaston) came and sat down, and Kathy explained the situation and all he really said was "Do you know what I see in you?" and I was like "whaat?" and he said "The perfect Leisl, too bad Town just did that show." Ha. Wow. Then, Kathy went away, and I started feeling sad again. Then, I talked to Mary and Mclean for awhile. I was almost sad when rehearsal was over...ALMOST. We have it aaaalllll day tomorrow. I think I'm going to ask Kathy to be my older sister, since I don't really consider my real ones to be my older sisters. haha. I think I could use an adult friend.