If you read my early entries you'll see how I wrote about how I didn't want people to know I was in a play and stuff, and now I really understand why. People judge me non-stop, asking me where my all black clothes are, or mocking me, or just literally calling me a freak. I tried to make up with Jamie, but she just literally hates me and tells me she misses the real me, the preppy, cool me. I feel like everything I used to know is caving down. Everyone used to talk to me, and now only a few people aknowledge my presence(well tons of people aknowledge my practice, but it's usually to make fun of me). God. Would life had just been easier if I had never gotten into theatre? What do I have to do to make you all happy? Do I need to quit acting? Lie to everyone, tell them all I care about is clothes and guys and parties...lie to myself? Is that what I have to do? No one ever said popularity was permanent, but no one ever told me it would be so short-lived either. But it's not even popularity that I necessary miss, I just miss being accepted and people actually LIKING ME! And it's not like all of my theatre friends are here for me. I mean like 2 are. I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do? Maybe I should just quit acting, like drew said last night, I must not be very good since I'm always in the ensemble.