I had a breakdown tonight. If you're gonna make fun of me or anything about this entry then get the hell of the site because that's really the last thing I need. I'll just be honest in here. In 7th and 8th grade, I had really bad breakdowns. You know, I did the whole "oh I'm going to kill myself" tantrums. I was forced to start taking paxil because of that, and still do. I also see a therapist every few months. This is my diary, and again if you're gonna make fun of me then please just don't read this because I can't deal with that. After I started Bye Bye Birdie, the tantrums went away, I didn't feel bad about much. I was truly happy. But all good things must come to an end as my aptly named closing night entry says. It's gotten worse as time has progressed. I've had really good months, but then some really bad ones. In NYC, I was too happy. After I didn't get into Oklahoma=miserable. Then, came the whole thing with guys that don't like me. I'm a girl, and it's important for guys to like me and the fact they don't really affects me. So, tonight, I looked in the mirror and told my reflection "I Hate You!". and I meant it. I'm mediocrly talented. I'm hideous. I'm fat. And my biggest love(musical theatre) has brought me down on the hotness scale and the popularity scale. Guys never really liked me, but once I announced that I'm in theatre, they disliked me even more. So, I was laying on the bathroom floor sobbing, when somewhere in my brain I decided that chopping off my hair was a good idea. I don't know what was running through my head as I pulled out the scissors and got rid of my hair. I just wish I could have stopped myself. But sometimes I can't. So now, I am stuck with chin length, uneven, unhot hair. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it got worse. I know I'll get a lot of crap for this entry, but you know according to Brendan I write about "stupid" stuff in ehre, and according to tons of people I'm a drama queen. Guys don't like me, I'm not sure which girls are my real friends, and now even I despise me. I just wish I could be happy. I just wish I could have a boyfriend. I just wish that I could look in the mirror without crying. When will I finally get that? P.S. Don't comment on this entry if it's gonna be a stupid comment. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all. BS is just a waste of time.