A year ago last night, I went out with Bye Bye Birdie castmembers for the first time. Is that sort of sad? just a little. I read my old entry from that night last night and it somehow made me dream about Bye Bye Birdie. In my dream, it was our last performance of Bye Bye Birdie, but it was this spring instead of last summer, and Abby(who I was close to during the run of the show in real life) was leaving for college the next day(which she will be doing soon in real life). Anyway, I was having an impossible time saying goodbye to her. That's pretty much the dream. But I woke up so sad. See, in real life, one night when she was doing my makeup before the show, she told me we weren't see eachother again once the show ended. I told her that wasn't true, and a horrible thing to say. But except for running into eachother a couple of times, we really haven't seen eachother since the show closed. We never talk online anymore either. And I miss her. I mean, maybe this is how theatre works. You're close with someone while the show is in rehearsal and running, but then when it's over, the friendships are over, too. But maybe not. No, none of my relationships got closer once the show ended, i can admit that. But i stayed in touch with some, and even stayed close friends with a few. So why didn't we stay close? I just miss it, that's all. I miss the show. I miss the cast. I miss Abby. I looked up to her a lot, ask anyone, and we were close. She drove me places all the time, and stuff. So even after a year, I'm still not over it. Is that not okay? Am I not allowed to miss the telephone hour or curtain call or rehearsal or friends? The dream just really left me with sadness and nostalgia. Even now, tears form in my eyes because you can't have those things again. Even if you do another show, it won't be the same as the one before. Even if you make friends, they won't be the same ones as before. I guess I over analyze life. And I'm oversensitive. and over-everything. This entry can't be positive because the conclusion is: I probably won't get to tell her goodbye before she leaves.