Why do I care what my older sister(Leslie) thinks? Yes she's the prettiest one in my family and the skinniest one even though she had a baby last year. She was voted best dressed and best all around in high school and she has like 5 million friends. She's always going out and partying, it's what she's done since I can remember. I get jealous of people with real like sisterly relationships like Kristen and Kelley Giese, or even Megan and Erin Lynch. Basically anyone who has a sister that cares about them. My mom tries to explain to me that it's just the way Leslie is, that she's just a sarcastic person and she "really does love me". But that's not what it seems like to me. I am always trying to impress her, but nothing I do impresses her. She literally spends all of the time we're together telling me what I'm doing wrong(not exercising enough, not studying enough, not being cool enough, etc) and she yells at my parents when they give me money or buy me expensive clothes or take me to NYC. Yet they've spent $75,000 on her in the past 2 years for her farm and her horses and her perfect house,etc. Well I promise that when I am 27, I don't want my parents to pay for me, because I'm going to have a job on Broadway. or somewhere. And then at dinner(it's my dads bday), I took too big of a swallow of chicken and for the first time in my life I was truly choking like I couldnt get it down and i tried sipping tea but it was stuck and I was no longer able to breathe, and then I ended up coughing it up, and at the whole dinner, that was the only point when people were noticing me. Then she started to bitch about me going to nyc and me not cleaning my room. and then the baby was the main focus for the rest. and I saw there, humming All That Jazz from Chicago very quietly to myself, and continued to be unnoticed even when i got up from the table and left. But still, I call her my favorite sister, and I somewhat look up to her. More just for her coolness and the fact she has such cool, close friends. But it hurts really bad when she just criticizes me over and over and over again. I just wish she loved me.