alright havent really sat down and written in here in a while. so here goes been feeling kinda shitty for the past couple days.. life is kinda hanging at a steady 'eh'... ya kno what I'm saying folks? yea.. I mean grrr... school has actually been ok these days... um... finals just past.. new classes fresh faces.. got a fine boy in all of my classes... but I would never like try to start anything with him because he has shown now interest in me. its not like he has been an ass to me either.. he is not one to flirt with all these girls... so Idk how he feels about me. we'll just leave him as my crush, ya kno? ahh now to my buddy old pal. I went to his house a few weeks back and we hung out and things were going great until he we started to sh1t that we knew would just complicate things more. let me put this out there right now. I went over to his house not expecting to do anything that would involve us removing our clothing. lmfao. I mean come on I even told him that this is was not something I had expected to do when I came over. I wanted to start being good friends again. like old times. when we could tell each other stuff and not have to worry about trust because it was already there. I mean I have know this boy for 3 years now and I was with him for 1. u are surely going to get close to him.. get me? we were so emotionally connected for quite some time and he felt like he could tell me stuff... after I had to like get it out of him. I mean that is ok because he is a boy and they aren't always the most open people in the world. ok they are NOT the most open people in the world. but we had a trust going and a good relationship going. and now as of today.. we split last june, he has the balls to say about me TO MY FRIEND "Felicia thinks she knows me but really she doesn't know me at all" or some STUPID SH1T LIKE THAT! WHO SAYS THAT ABOUT someone who you have known for that long. if anything I know more about the kid than he does. I don't understand how he could just dis the f*ck out of me like that. I mean come on....... we were CLOSE. I was his first love and he was mine. we were envied by so many people. we had the ideal relationship and he just wants to just throw it away!?!? and that's so funny because when it is just me and him, we get back to being the way we were before. when we are school, we could walk RIGHT passed each other adn not say a darn thing... just stare... wondering what the other person is thinking right now. grrr..... boys..