Queen of Hearts: "Now, what is it that you remember?" March Hare: "Nothing whatever." Queen of Hearts: "Nothing whatever?" March Hare: "Yes! Nothing whatever!" Queen of Hearts: "THAAAAAAAAAT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Write that down!" Doormouse: "Twinkle, twinkle little bat ..." Queen of Hearts: *whispered* "That's very important ..." *pause, then screams* "WRITE THAT DOWN!" Jury: *writing* "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle ..." Just a moment of complete and total randomness. No dream entry today. I can't remember them. I'm sorry ... I know how much you all love to read them, especially you, Lindsay. Sorry. But at least I got a damn good night's sleep. In fact, I didn't wake up until about an hour ago ... and it's past 1:30 right now. I don't really have much to talk about today. I suppose I could turn on the news and find something to talk about, rant about, whatever, but I don't really feel like watching TV. What's wrong with me today? I feel like I should write an entry that seems meaningful in some way, but all I can come up with is talking about what to write for this entry. It's sad. I thought I was known for, like, writing intellegent stuff and dreams and all - but in all actuality, I can't really do either right now. What do you do when your mind just shuts down? When you can't do what you're expected to do? Have you ever felt that sometimes the only reason you do anything is because it's expected of you? Like, for instance, if you were taking a test in school, and you have this open-ended essay that you just feel REALLY strongly about and you want to write in a lot of your opinions and views on it, and even make it out into a full-blown editorial worthy of newspaper publishing - but then, you don't, and you just answer the question as anyone looking for an "A" would, because that's what's expected, and that's what you do. Yet you feel a little betrayed sometimes - like you betrayed yourself of some magnificent opportunity. But then, you feel a little scared. Why? Because what if you had done that? What if you had written this extremely admirable piece for that essay answer? Then wouldn't people expect the same from you every single time? What if you can't do that? What if you can't give them the same results, the same amount of effort every time? What then? I fear this sometimes. I fear that in today's world plagerism is very high and teachers are too suspicious. What if a normally "C" student finds this one subject for his editorial or research paper that he feels VERY strongly about, and ends up writing an "A+++" paper - and after that, he can't keep producing the same quality of work? The teachers get suspicious, that's what happens. They automatically suspect that either he found the paper somewhere else, or he had someone write it for him. This is why a lot of students today are careful in writing. This is why a lot of PEOPLE today are careful not to do anything that's not expected of them, for fear that they will be thought of negatively when they can't do it again. I don't think that should stop people from doing what it is they want to do. I think that people should just DO what it is they want to do in that regard, and not CARE what others think. I seriously think I belong in the 60's, around the time of the Civil Rights movement and the Beatles. Civil Rights might have done many things for equality, but as for people - as for people's views on things - it hasn't really done anything. People still think the same way they did back then ... and that frightens me. I fear for my future, actually, and my children's future because of this country. Especially with all of this Salem witch-hunting that's going on today ... I can't talk about this anymore. I've gotten into the rambling stage and I fear that the flow has become choppy and nearly incoherent. And it bothers me when I write out a lot of abstract ideas and they just don't seem to fit together unless you think too much on them ... Yeah ... I'm done talking. I guess my next entry will be a part from that "Dictator" story I was talking about in my last entry, if I can't find anything else to talk about ... I guess. Yeah ... just ... end. Yeah, it's kind of like that.