I went to bed at 11:30 last night ... just like Dr. David has ordered me to, you know, be in bed and trying to sleep before midnight and all and ... uhm ... I didn't fall asleep until after sunrise. I just ... lay there, tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling, until about 5:30 in the morning. Why? I don't know. Too many thoughts racing through my head, I think. It wouldn't have been so bad if I'd been allowed to sleep ... but the owner of one of the houses behind our apartment building has started building a pool for his kids and the carpenters were hammering away by 8:30 ... so I didn't get much more than three hours of sleep last night, er, this morning. Even David told me that I looked like shit. And, well, yeah ... I believe him. I kinda do look like warmed-over hippogriff dung. Not that I know what hippogriff dung looks like, mind you. I did take a nap this afternoon, though, when the carpenters broke for lunch (they didn't come back until about 1:30) so I got about an hour and a half. That was well worth it, though. I needed it. I'm a light sleeper. A VERY light sleeper. David can wake me up just by closing a cabinet a little too hard in the kitchen. When I was a child and David was in the room right next to me, he would listen to his stereo while he slept, but he would still keep it low ... and, well, even though it was quiet, I could still hear the base just a FRACTION through the walls, so it kept me up. Oh, many-a-night was spent knocking on the wall between our rooms for him to turn it down some. *sigh* Brothers. But then, you know, he complained about my light being on at all hours of the night and coming out from under the door, blinding him. You see, he has to sleep in total darkness like me, and I would stay up into all hours sometimes to read and ... well, I eventually just started putting a blanket at the base of the door so I wouldn't keep him up (we had adjoining rooms, just so you can picture this). Of course, the door between our rooms really came in handy for when I was REALLY little and still scared of bad thunderstorms. I'd sneak into his room and into bed with him just like any scared kid would do his parents, you know? Or when I'd just read a particularly scary part in a book, or seen a scary movie (like IT - I slept in his bed for a week after watching IT), or if I was just sad for whatever reason ... I'd just sneak into bed with him. He's a good older brother. Very good older brother. Say the "c" word, and I'll kill you ... I know you were thinking it ... Anyway, I grew out of sleeping in his room by the time I was 9. But ... you know ... every now and then ... he'll come into my room or I'll go into his ... But I'll talk about that another time. Have you ever ... felt like there was another person inside of you? Someone else that you just want to let go - but it's not really you, but you want to let it out, because you feel like it's what should be? Or that you would be happier if you did? But you don't, because it's not ... really ... you? I feel like that today. Anyway ... no, I don't really have any dreams to talk about ... because I didn't sleep, really, well ... at all ... so ... But I do remember being in this room, lit by sunlight, the walls were dark, though, like cherry wood and I felt hot and shaky, feverish - my "Skye Wind Theme" was playing again, I could hear it ... and I was forced to do something, I don't remember what it was for, but I had to use this green marker and right the number 6 backwards, so I used my left hand ... I didn't really want to do it, but I felt like I was trying to please someone. And I did it really, very slowly ... it was supposed to do something, the green, backwards 6 was supposed to be like a triggor for something ... but ... someone behind me just stroked my hair like I did a good job - like it was praise. And I woke up. I also remember, that it was a crayola marker. I had another dream, a while ago, where I was in this market with Melissa, and for some reason I was in with the art supplies, paints, crayons, markers, pens ... And ... that's all. SIX DAYS! ... whoa ... I just realized. Took me six hours to fall asleep last night ... ... six days until Midsummer Celebration ... ... six days until Harry Potter ... ... today is the sixteenth ... Maybe ... the six meant something in my dream. I'll have to look it up. Anyway! Blessed be!