Still no change from yesterday's mood. Still crying on occasion, at inopportune moments. Still no phone calls from places I've applied to. Still lonely, still sad, still detached. Paul came by this afternoon - David's working. We talked for a while just ... about stuff ... there's nothing really to say. I wasn't really in the mood to talk, but then I wasn't really in the mood to say no. I just ... feel like I'm here. Just ... there. Like some random picture on the wall amongst other pictures that no one really notices because it's just ... there. It's just filler because the homeowner doesn't want an empty spot on her wall ... Yes, that's how I feel. I had a dream last night - Something had gone terribly wrong. I was scared, and I felt so very very tired. I had a dream that I was being chased - Melissa was there, with me, because she was with me, she was also being chased - she was also in trouble - But I was caught, and kidnapped by this person, and then escaped, and went hiding out in this old building with lots of people - I was among friends, I thought I would be safe, but none of them really tried to hide me or actually made any effort to help me - except for Melissa. She told me to hide in the backseat of this red car ... but the kidnapper found me anyway - and I ran away again - then she told me to hide in the basement shower - and I did - and there were people there, and they knew I was there, but none of them acknowledged my presence - which was good, because if they didn't know I was there, then the kidnapper wouldn't either. I hid in this one shower, and just stayed there, pressed against the wall in the corner of it, with the curtain pulled back just a bit to throw him off - because if I was in there and trying to hide, wouldn't I have pulled the curtain all the way to? I was linked somehow to this guy. I could hear him breathing - it wasn't that he was breathing hard, it was just that his breathing and heartbeat were magnified in my mind, so I would know when he was near. And it all got so very loud, so he was in the basement showerroom - and I could hear him searching all of the showers - and the people there ... they weren't there to take a shower, they were holding some kind of secret meeting (who would hold a secret meeting in a showerroom? ... EXACTLY!) - and they keep telling him to leave, because he's disrupting their meeting. And finally, when he gets to the shower next to mine, he stops, and the breathing and heartbeat start to get quiet ... so he was leaving. When he's gone, I jumped out of the curtain and got down on my knees, expressing my thanks to them repeatedly ... and the woman (I don't remember exactly what she looked like - brownish-blonde-gold hair I think - about to her shoulders; that's all I remember), who seemed to be the meeting's leader just said "We know. You're welcome. We would do anything to protect you." She also told to me to stay down there, with them, until the man is fully gone - meaning he's no longer in the building because he thinks I've left already ... but I tell her that I'm worried about my friend. That I'm worried that he'll find Melissa, you know? Worried that something will happen to her. And she says, "Well, in that case, Chris (Cris? Kris?) will go with you." And then I notice this guy - he's older than me. I've never met him, personally, in life - but I have seen him before in dreams - and I know who he is in the dream. I've seen him a couple of times in dreams before. It's Chris. He has dark hair, he's taller than me, wore dark clothing, looked like some kind of ... security. When I was with him, I felt security - because he looked as if he was ready to take on anything that came his way. I remember thinking that he was some kind of ex-soldier or ... something - and that he was bored. And so Chris leads me up the stairs - and it's like we came out a different way - like, through a cellar, because then we were outside. But I start hearing the breathing and heartbeat again, as soon as I come out - and I just ... freeze. And Chris turns to me and asks me something like "what?" or "what is it?" And I give him this very ... meek, but frightened look. Then I wake up. I often have dreams of being chased, but I can't remember ever actually having been caught ... it's a frightening feeling. P.S. This is a really good GOOD remake of the Pink Floyd song. Can't wait until I get to see Shadows Fall at Ozzfest in a couple of weeks. At least I have that to look forward to, right?