"Strange how the arms sting when you're left holding nothing. You need contact daily, your conscience is failing." Just got out of the shower from waking up from an impromptu nap. I hadn't intended on falling back asleep, but it just sort of happened as I was lying on the sofa. And for some reason my right palm feels like it has a scratch on it, but I can't see anything. Very weird. I dreamed though! Even though my nap was, like, ten minutes at the most - but it was an continuation on the last one. Which made me happy. I woke up feeling happy. MATURE CONTENT, however. MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY, PLEASE! Dream: I'm lying on a bed, in the dark or ... my eyes were closed; I feel covers over me, and Evan's arm holding me to him. I hear mewing again and I start to open my eyes, but I feel Evan move off of the bed and hear him walk, and whisper as I open my eyes. The room is still somewhat dark, but I can tell that there is sun behind the thick curtains. Evan is whispering "shh, you'll wake him up." And I still hear the mewing, and a quiet click of something being turned on - and suddenly there's a little more light in the room. I stay still, though, listening. Evan whispers again, "What do you want?" And I can tell that he's talking to the kitten. "Are you hungry?" More mewing. I slowly roll over, because I don't want to be found out as being awake - and I watch Evan as he places a small white bowl down by the kitten. But she just keeps mewing at him. "Shh, he needs to sleep." She mews more, then he starts mewing back and it becomes like some sort of call-and-answer challenge or ... something between them. And this makes me laugh, because it's funny as hell to hear her go "mew" and him go "mrow" over and over again. Mew, mrow, mew, mrow. "What do you want from me? I'm only human," he says to her. I smile and I speak quiet to him "she wants to play." He looks at me and says "see? Now you've done it. He's awake now." He picks her up and carries her back over to the bed and sits beside me. I start to sit up, but he tells me to stay down and go back to sleep. He tries to set the kitten in place between us, but she gets up and starts running over the bed. I sit up as she goes flying off the edge ... Then she runs around, climbs up the sheets, runs across, jumps down, then climbs up the sheets, runs across, jumps down ... over and over. It's all very comical. And I laugh. Evan's laughing, too ... but then he stops and looks at me as I laugh. I just watch the kitten as she does it one more time then runs up my legs and curls up on the pillow beside me. I'm still laughing a little as I stroke her head - I feel like I can only pet her with one finger, she is that small. And I feel Evan's arms curl around me, and his fingers around my neck as he turns my head toward him. And he spoke. "I can't remember the last time I heard you laugh." I just stare at him. I want him to kiss me. And he does, though short it is. He starts to climb on top of me, pushing me back down into the mattress. I can feel my head sink into the pillow again. I curl my fingers around his shoulders as he lays on top of me and I whisper suddenly, "I can't remember. Before ... did we -?" And he says "No." And kisses me again before asking "do you want to?" And I stare at him for another moment and whisper "yes." He starts to kiss me ... a little softer this time. The question, I knew in my mind, that I was asking was if we had made love earlier - because I couldn't remember. I figure that the pill must have knocked me out, because I don't remember a thing. I know that Evan is not the type of man, however, to take advantage of me while I'm knocked out ... well ... not anymore, if you go by the "dictator" stuff ... but ... I'll get to that later. He finishes unbuttoning my top, kissing my chest, my stomach, his arms curling around me. I start to feel the butterflies again ... and as I feel his hands slowly pull at the waist of my pants, I whisper "Evan?" "Yes?" "I'm aware now ... please be gentle with me ..." I know what I am referring to in the dream, and I know now, too. It was because, in the dream, I became aware. Like so many dreams before, this dream became that of a Lucid dream - a dream in which I know that I am dreaming ... Evan's legs slip between mine as he kisses me again. "I will," he tells me, and as he lowers his pants, I turn my head to the kitten, and look to her for a second. I want her to move off of the bed ... and she does, going back to her chair so she won't get hurt, in case things got rough. I feel Evan move again, and then he shoves it inside me. I cry out, but he covers my mouth with his hand - it hurts at first ... oh yes, it hurts - it didn't hurt before, but he keeps saying "shh, shh" ... but I'm shaking, and he can feel it. I'm whimpering with each thrust he gives me and he takes my head in his hands, stroking my temples with his thumbs. He says "Look at me, Seth. Look into my eyes." And I do ... but then he smiles at me and whispers "now close your eyes." And I do, and he kisses me. He so mcuh taller than me, so much bigger ... what could he possibly see in a scrawny, pale thing like me? It doesn't hurt anymore, the pain going away. It starts to feel good ... really good ... my whimpers turn into moans and gasps; I kiss him at every opportunity given. I won't get into all of the details ... but eventually, I come to the point where I just can't take it anymore, the pleasure - I want it to stop, but then, I don't ... and then I just ... pop. Pop is a good word for it. I don't know how else to describe it. I fall back onto the mattress, panting - I'm twitching, but it's a good twitch; I feel myself and him covered with a thin film of sweat ... and Evan looms over me, breathing heavily, looking down at me. And he says to me in a whisper "Well that's never happened before ..." His eyes are glowing. His brown eyes look like amber, when light is shown through it ... they're just positively glowing. And I can feel just how tired I am. I know that I gave him something. Power ... something - something came from that pop - and my first thought was that it was a way of saying "thank you." And he's just smiling at me as he straddles me again. My fingers slink around his shoulders again as he speaks. "Tonight is full of surprises." I just smile at him and say "yes." He grabs the sides of my face and says, a little softer, "Seth ..." But I wake up. It sounded important ... whatever it was that he was going to tell me. That's ... it. I can't write anymore ... Oh ... uhm ... 18 DAYS UNTIL MIDSUMMER CELEBRATION! ... there you go. ___________________________________________________________________

I’m the homeless moody bishie who shares an apartment with the jerk (who saved my life) above the drugstore where I work. When I’m not being groped by my boss’s boyfriend, I take on supernatural side jobs by aid of my acute psychometric abilities for extra cash. Find out with GD bishie you are | by Aelice

((Okay ... okay ... yeah.)) Blessed be.