I feel better today. Better as if in meaning that I'm in a good mood. Physically, I still leave something to be desired. This really is therapy for me. I am so grateful to Scott for having this site, really I am. Whoa ... New York City is going to open the first public high school for gays. Is this smart? I don't think it is. They say that it's to stop harrassment - but ... I don't think it will - they'll still get it on the outside. So ... I had dreams last night. A couple of interesting ones. First dream: Choppy. I was at this sort of camp place in the middle of the woods. I was the dream me, watching over this group of children about 12 years old ... but I don't think that a majority of the people can see me. And there was this one girl here, blond hair pulled into one of those ballerina-tight buns, round face, blue eyeshadow, and she was wearing a yellow dress - a sundress, I think that's what they're called. And there is a snack shack there - and I feel as though I've been there before, because when I'm there this time, the snack place has a new name - it's called the Lent Shack ... I don't know why. And even in my dream, I'm wondering why it would have been named that. And ... there were three wasps in my dream - in this sort of small playhouse that the kids would go into to get out of the sun ... And then there's this guy, who kind of looks a little like Greg Kinnear ... but not ... and he comes for the little girl. He takes her to use her for something - I don't know what. But I feel as though this girl and I are attached in some way - I guess kind of a cousin sort of way, maybe ... but she was just so beautiful, she reminded me of a cherub ... and the man took her from me, but there was nothing I could do. Then I was in this sort of house - in this living room, with a mirror and a large, walk in closet. Usually, when there is a mirror in my dream, I stare at my reflection; so I do ... I stare at my reflection ... I'm so pale ... and I'm wearing a black sweater ... And as I'm staring at my reflection, I see something yellow move in it, to the closet across the room ... and I turn to look, and it's the girl, going into the closet to hide from the man, just trying to get away. I just smile at her, but then the man comes into the room, sees her ... and takes her away ... Then the scene starts over. I'm staring in the mirror again, and I see her move into the closet again - I know that the man is coming, so I just smile and wink at her - and I'm trying to think of a way to help her as I close the closet door on her ... but I wake up as I'm trying to think of a way to help her. I also remember something about a wrecked purple trolley ... Don't ask - I don't know. Second dream: I don't remember much about this dream, either - but I'll try to recall it to the best of my ability. I guess this dream is somewhat mature content, so, you know, please be a mature audience. Thank you. I'm lying on this white, furry rug in front of this fireplace, feeling as though I've just woke up. I'm so tired, I can barely stay awake, much less move. But I know that I don't want to be there, I know that I have to move, but I can't. And this woman comes out of nowhere and straddles me. She has long, strawberry blonde hair and is wearing one of those black, "witchy" looking dresses, with the flowy sleeves and all. She's maybe ... ten years older than me. And she has this wild look in her hazel eyes - yes, hazel. She's very beautiful, but something about her frightens me - maybe the look in her eyes - or what she does next. She grabs my shirt and gives me this really deep kiss. And then she says "I want to have your baby, Larc. Let me have your baby." And then kisses me again. I try to tell her to stop - because I don't want to ... I don't want to have sex with her, I don't want her to have my baby - I don't even know who she is. I want to move, I want to get away - but she keeps kissing me, and her hands move down into my pants ... And, I really ... REALLY don't like to be touched there. I turn my head away from her ... and this pisses her off. She starts trying to rip off my clothes, screaming over and over "LOVE ME!! LOVE ME!!" And then suddenly, her head snaps to the side, like someone had just come into the room. And I hear them - I hear footsteps, and suddenly, she's thrown off of me. I hear something about being drugged, and I feel arms around me, lifting me up. I keep hearing a man's voice - familiar voice, familiar arms - he says "Stay awake, Larc. Stay conscious. Don't fall asleep." But that's all I remember. I think I did fall asleep. This next dream scared me. Before I went to bed, I looked up to my ceiling and asked the powers that be to give me a dream ... And this is what I got ... Last Dream: Choppy. I was an Angel - and I was different, hunted, and I was falling ... falling from the stars, falling through space ... and everything was so beautiful ... but so sad ... I felt so sad, broken-hearted ... and I was just falling ... But I was falling with someone, another Angel, I think ... felt like a twin, a sister or brother. I don't know ... But somewhere, we were separated ... And I crashed on earth. I could feel hands upon me ... so many hands, holding me down ... And then I was in another's body. And then another body ... Like time was passing, and I was being reincarnated ... And though I was always surrounded by people, people telling me they loved me, I always felt alone ... And then I heard something that scared me most of all ... As I was looking to the eastern night sky, I heard a voice - an indescribable voice - say "Lucifer" ... And I woke up. ... what could this dream mean? Could it mean what I think it means?