I guess ... I should write an entry today. The aunt and her aunt-in-law have gone. Alas. I'll miss them ... Uhm ... has anyone else noticed that the Harry Potter book is not only being released on the first day of summer/longest day of the year, but it's also Summer Solstice? Just thought I'd point that out. J.K. Rowling is a clever little witch, isn't she? My dreams last night had me feeling horrible. Of course, one of them was a Harry Potter dream ... for some reason - can't think of why. *looks innocent and lightly kicks his copy of Goblet of Fire under his desk; whistles a tuneless melody - which eventually ends up coming out as the theme* Yeah, I know, the book comes out Saturday; the school's party is on Monday. I think I'll just dress up as a student at Hogwarts ... and wear my purple Harry Potter toe socks. Yes, girls, guys can wear these, too. I'd wiggle my toes at you all, but I haven't been able to do that since I was five. I can wave them, though. *waves his toes* See? Anyway ... I have dreams to discuss. First dream: I'm on the ceiling - my back is against the ceiling, and I'm over this bed - I can't be seen. I feel like I'm invisible, but I know I'm really there, though; this isn't a projection of me. I have my eyes closed, but my third eye is watching - I have to stay perfectly still. I don't want to be seen, because people are talking below. It's her, Niveus, she's looking ... better, she's talking to a man, and there is a woman there, helping her to undress and put on a white nightgown of sorts. I don't remember what they were speaking of, but I do remember the woman brushing Niveus's hair. I'm starting to feel sleepy. The room is warm to me, and it smells sweet, soft ... warmth mixed with the scent of sweetness always makes me a little drowsy. I'm waiting ... for Niveus to be alone. I need to speak with her. It feels like the need to just ... be alone with someone ... And finally, the others leave, the door closes, the lights go out, and she starts to get under the covers. She about to rest her head on the pillow, when she starts to look around nervously ... like she knows I'm there, and she thinks I'm a threat, but she doesn't know exactly where I am ... But then she starts to sing, very quietly; I don't remember the words, or really even the tune for that matter ... and ... her voice so beautiful, it makes me smile ... but ... within seconds I get this sharp pain in my head, like the icepick being jabbed into my skull, and I can't keep my concentration, so I know I'm visible again, and I fall, right onto the bed, right on top of her. She stopped singing, though. I'm cradling my head, so I can't see her face, but I can tell she's relieved by the sound of her voice. She whispers to me, "Larc!" And I just kind of wince and rub my head as she grabs my arms and makes me face her. I'm straddling her legs and sitting on them, and she's just making me face her. She whispers to me again, "What are you doing here? How did you get in here?" The pain in my head starts to fade away and I smile at her. And it's like, I can hear this music box playing - tinkling, with an echo, in my head ... and it seems, haunting and mysterious, but beautiful, it's enchanting and it nearly intoxicates me. I begin to wonder if she can hear it. But she takes my face in her hands and says "Your hair." She strokes my hair - and suddenly I'm aware that I have white streaks in it. I just smile at her and she whispers, "Did I do that to you?" But I just grab her hand and hold it for a little bit, cradling it like it's the most precious thing in the world, and she says, "You shouldn't be here." And I whisper back, very quietly, "I had to see if you were all right. I missed you. I told you I would come ..." And she stares at me, as if urging me to say something else. I feel warm with her; I feel safe with her. I'm not scared this time, not afraid of being caught or hurt. I whisper again, "I was worried." And she smiles at me, like she's fully confident and sure now that I'm Larc, just because I told her that I was worried about her. And she hugs me tightly, and I can't help but hug her back, and it's like I suddenly have a voice as I'm clinging to her, and I'm asking her all of these questions like "are you all right? Are they treating you well? Are they feeding you properly? Are you getting enough rest? I hadn't heard from you, I thought something was wrong." And she grabs my face in her hands again and make me look her in the eye, then she takes hold of my left and and ... all the while she's talking to me, she's holding my hand, stroking it, like it's the most fascinating thing in the world, and just feel so hypnotized by her touch - I can still feel it. She's speaking to me, says to me that she's been busy, that she's had a lot of work to do, people to lead, proceeds to tell me about someone, and I suddenly realize that she's talking about the man I saw her speaking with earlier. And I just outright told her, with dead seriousness, "Don't trust him. Get rid of him. He's not good for you." She gives me this strange look, and I find myself smiling again, though I feel I'm faking it, just to reassure her, and I whisper, "You're not planning on attacking us, are you?" And she gives me this questioning look and I say something like, "Your people have increased defense on our borders. Their security is tight, like they think we're a threat. We don't want to hurt you. We're supposed to be working together, remember? It's what we wanted." I can feel my voice fading now, like I've been talking too much. She says something, I forget exactly what, but she's talking about rebuilding her kingdom now that -he's- gone, and it takes time, and how her people are restless, and then I just say, suddenly - "Run away with me." She says, "What?" I say, "Run away with me. I can take you to Corbin. You want to be with him, don't you? Run away with me, the two of you can live in my forest and be happy and together." "My people need me, Larc." My smile is gone, and I just look at her sadly. I force myself to smile, but it comes out very small. And I whisper, "It's okay to have a selfish thought every once in a while. People can take advantage of you because of your selflessness. Can't you think about yourself for once?" And then she says, "all right." Then she grabbed my head and pulled me to her, and just ... kissed me. And I just freeze and blink; she pulls back. "Just thinking about myself," she whispers to me. And I ask, "What about Corbin?" She says to me, "You, too, Larc. Think about yourself for once." Then she kisses me again, and more than anything, I want to kiss her back, and stay in her arms, be with her forever ... so yes, I give in. I kiss her back. Her lips are soft and sweet ... and I give in, I just give in. Before I realize anything, she's on top of me, holding both of my hands to the bed and we're just ... kissing. Then she lets go of my hands and I wrap my arms around her; she brushes her left hand against my forehead, and her right hand is on my chest, over my heart, and we kiss again. It's a mutual feeling ... I don't want to stop. I feel like I've waited a long, long time to be with her. I just want ... to melt into her. And then I feel like someone's coming, so I tuck my head to the side and she kisses my cheek and I say "Someone's coming." And she says "no one's coming" and kisses me again. I roll her over and pin her to the mattress, kiss her one more time and say again that there is someone coming. And just after I say it, the door to the room is kicked open. I hear a spring sound and feel something pierce my left arm, followed by immense pain. She starts yelling something and I roll off of the bed and start toward the window, and I feel another piercing in my back, and I fall. I'm being shot with arrows, I think. I can't breathe. I feel cold; I can feel the blood leaving me. I feel myself be shot again, and I can't move anymore. I prop myself against the wall. I can't breathe, can't move. I feel someone standing over me, holding something to me, like they are going to shoot me again, this time in the head. But then I hear Niveus say "Wait, we could use him." I feel my arm get shot again and I wake up. I woke up with this immense feeling of dread and betrayal ... and the feeling of a broken heart. I went back to sleep, had my Harry Potter dream - but, you know, that was such a silly dream, so I won't write about it. Maybe another time. *winks* Last dream: I'm in that white, padded room again. I'm dressed in white, have bandages all over me, and I ... am ... COLD! And hungry. And in pain. But mostly cold. I can't move very well, but I am stumbling very slowly along the walls - I would fall if I wasn't leaning against them. I'm trying to find a door. I don't know what's happened; I'm confused. I can feel my eyes watering from the pain but ... I also feel very ... empty. I want out - I just want out of that room, more than anything. I want out. I could care less about the pain or how I got there now, I just want out of the room. But I can't find a door. I can't walk through the walls. I can barely even stand. And then I feel someone behind me. It's Niveus. And I turn to look, and suddenly, there's this small table there that wasn't there before, with two chairs. She's setting a tray of food on it. She speaks to me, "I've brought you some tea, I know you like it." I very slowly inch toward her, and she tells me to sit down ... so I do. She sits, too and places a plate before me. It has food on it, but I don't remember what it was. I didn't eat it. Things feel and smell like clean. I'm shivering by now from the cold, and I feel very sad for some reason. She gets up from her seat and says "You have to eat, Larc" as she goes behind me. Then I feel her drape a blanket around me. It's a light-blue blanket. She sits down again. I stare at my cup of hot tea ... and it looks so warm ... but the thought of eating and drinking makes me feel sick. And I just feel ... so ... sad. I curl myself up in the blanket, pull my knees to my chest, make myself as small as possible. And then she says "please eat something." Then I start to wonder if I'm dead. Then I wake up. Yeah ... I've been in a weird, rollercoaster-type of mood all day because of that. I'm all confused. I think I've typed enough ... yeah. Oh! This is the day I've been waiting so long to say! *whispers, hauntingly, scaringly; hisses* ... seven days ... *then perks up, cheerful* Until Midsummer Celebration! And the fifth Harry Potter book, too! Blessed be!
What Anime Art Style Are You? ________________________________________________________________ ... oh ... wow ... my last entry got TEN comments ... whoa ... how about that? How did that happen?