First: Thank you, Scott. You are the greatest. It's been a few days, site's been down, haven't really had anything to write about really. Set the curve for that big test in Developmental Psych yesterday. Which means that I got a 102. Lovely, no? I've had really strange dreams ... but I don't feel like talking about them right now. I've reached a point in my emotional rollercoaster where I just don't feel like caring. Apathy, that's what it's called. I feel very apathetic. The thing is - it's not that I don't want to care, it's that I just ... feel too tired to care. Like my emotions are spent. Emotional stock market crashed or something. Sure, I still care about things that are important to me - like my brest friends, my loved ones ... but it's kind of weird. I'm just spent, that's all I can say. I made the highest grade on an ass-kicking hard test. Didn't feel a thing. I heard on the news that the government is pretty sure that they've killed Saddam's sons. Didn't feel a thing. Jenna told me that she had to put her cat to sleep. Still didn't feel a thing. Still no phone calls from places I applied. Don't ... really care. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm usually a very emotional guy. Maybe I've just been too touchy lately, been over-drawn on emotions these past two weeks that ... I just won't have them for a while. Maybe I need a recharge. Maybe I just need a vacation. Or maybe I just don't want to care or feel anything ... because I'm tired of it. College starts again in a couple of weeks. Ozzfest is next Thursday. I don't even feel excitement for these ... I just don't feel like talking anymore. Not about myself, not giving advice ... nothing. Just don't feel like talking. I'd rather sit on the couch and stare off into space, lost in my own thoughts. Or sleep. Sleep sounds good. I'm usually a very complex person, usually happy to listen to other people, offer advice or help that I can ... but no ... not lately. Anyway ... since I don't really feel like talking about my dreams - I leave you with something that Tara and Lindsay have already read, but I thought it bore repeating. Just a little something I wrote, inspired after just watching Russell Simmons' Def Poetry Jam. It's meant to be a monologue - read aloud and with inner rhythm ... _____________________________________________________________ Perception I found a pillar today – a pillar of truth. And I stood upon it, to tell the truth. But not everyone will believe me, even though it is the truth. Or, the truth as I see it. Blind faith. Truth. One needs proof to claim something to be true. But then, even with proof, is it still truth? Truth. Proof. Funny how truth and proof kind of rhyme. Truth. Proof. Yes, funny how they seem to fit. Truth. Proof. Funny how they seem to fit, funny how they seem to rhyme … But not quite. Evidence is supposed to prove that something is, thereby making it a truth. But what if, even with proof, one still refuses to accept the truth? A truth is supposed to be that which is accepted by everyone, isn’t it? But what if one person does not accept that which others claim to be true? Does that still make it true? What if what everyone believes to be the truth is really a lie? Is it a lie of no one is aware? Is it still the truth because no one can disprove it? Because no one has a reason to? I propose a radical notion. Everything is true. Anything is truth so long as it is believed by one person. Faith – blind faith – makes truth. Our free will makes things true. A lie is true if someone believes it. It is all in our minds; what we as individual beings perceive to be true … is true. Everyone has his or her own set of truths: You believe you have a cat – but it could really be a rat. Everyone else sees it as a rat. Yes you know you have a cat, because you perceive that to be true. It is your perception. Truth is your perception. You could be an alien, but you see yourself as human; you believe yourself to be human. So, therefore, it is true that you are human. You could be dreaming – right now – but you believe yourself to be awake, therefore it must be true. You could be a ghost, but you know you are alive. This is true, because you believe you are alive. You could really be dead, and your world is just a fabrication of your consciousness, of what your life should be – but you believe yourself to be alive. So, thus, you are. You could be a computer, an artificial intelligence, and everything you see, feel, hear, taste, smell – is all some form of virtual reality. You believe that God exists – even though there is no proof. This is faith. Blind faith. Your truth. If you believe it, then so it must be … … to you, anyway. Truth is in your perception and your perception alone. No one can force you to believe something you cannot, something you see as false – no matter what proof they might possess. You know what you believe to be true – you know your truths. Just yours. And that’s all that matters. Your truth. Yes, your truths may change through experiences, but even if your perception changes, then it is still true to you. Your truth. And that’s all that matters. Everyone deserves to stand on the pillar of truth. Not just wise old men, or those appointed by other people because it is believed they are filled with honesty. They could be filled with lies, to you – because everyone’s truths are different. So stand on your pillar. Stand TALL on your pillar. Stand tall on your pillar of truth. © Tanager 2003 _________________________________________________________ Truth is not a majority vote. Blessed be.