I had a really whacked out short dream this morning. That was all it was, though ... just one of those dreams. You know, where there's a rather beautiful and large airplane parked in the driveway, with people walking on the roof of the garage that's right beside your window and your 2-year-old cousin is now a tabby cat that wears clothes and talks about getting laid. Yeah, one of those dreams. Believe me. That's not something I can just make up, you know. Blame my subconscious. Okay ... so ... this is really just an update post. Might turn into more than just an update post later, though. I've moved in with my best friend. The house is nice. I have a frontyard AND a backyard, and it's out of town so I can see the stars, crystal clear. Lee's been getting into a lot of fights with the neighbors' cat, though. He got beat up pretty bad last week, but he's doing just fine now. He just had me really worried. School's over now. Well, until June anyway. It's a nice change of pace, you know, catching up on sleep and all. I'm still working, though, so I can't sleep all the time like my body wants to do. I got almost ten hours of sleep last night and I still woke up with bags and circles under my eyes. I got sun on Saturday. Yes, little scrawny pale Seth actually got a little sun. Burned, actually ... on my left arm. I'm a little out of proportion thanks to me having to drive for a long time and my arm being the sole target of the sun's rays. But my face, ah ... my face has color. I don't look dead anymore. More like, red ... I remember last year I used to update this journal everyday ... sometimes more than once ... sometimes even four times in one day. I remember I was a quiz junkie. And now, here I am, sometimes not even managing to update for weeks. I'm such a slacker. After the year I've had, I'm trying to get back onto a regular, more healthy schedule. And damn, this Lemon Ice Koolaid is good. Wish I had some cookies to go with it. Alas. Alas, alas. I'm awfully chatty today. Yesterday, I wasn't. I was rather disturbed and cold. Why? Tuesday, there was news that a terrorist group had released a video on their website of five men beheading an American with a rather large knife. At first, I was very skeptical. I thought it was just a ploy of the government to increase approval ratings after the whole prisoner mistreatment photos scandal - which, by the way, fucking sickens me - do you know that public nudity is EXTREMELY dishonorable in an Arab's eyes? that was just fucking SICK. They're POW's, not slaves. And who the fuck is STUPID enough to take pictures of this shit? Anyway, so I spent a majority of my online time Tuesday, trying to find this video, and the more I searched, the less I turned up. I couldn't find any video, any terrorist website with the video - but I did find a lot of articles about it from all over the world ... And all of them said ... the ... exact ... same ... thing. Verbatim. Made me even more skeptical - to find all of these articles from all over the world, and all of them said the exact same thing - and that I couldn't find the website or the video anywhere. Oh ... but my skepticism ... no ... I need to get rid of that nasty habit. A friend found it, the video, Wednesday afternoon ... and we watched it ... It's very real ... and very disturbing. I was disgusted with myself afterwards not only because I have become desensitized by everything because this did not bother me as much as it would have a year ago - but because I just watched a man die ... I just watched a man get fucking murdered, on video, and it was real ... a real life being taken. Not a movie. Not some damn manaquin. A real human being getting his head sawed off with a large knife. Real screams. Real blood. Real spine. Real head being lifted up to the camera. Real head being set on the man's back like on display. I refuse to watch it again. I'm too disgusted with myself. Yet even now I still am skeptic. Oh, not that there was a human life that was most definitely violently taken - but who the people were involved. The father of Nick Berg doesn't believe it was his son. FBI and people who know Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (the guy who beheaded Berg in the video) say that that's not his voice - but the CIA is saying something completely different. AND! And, I just heard, apparently Berg was Jewish. It always has to be something. Can't they just let the man be dead? People asked me yesterday why I looked so disturbed, I told them ... that I'd seen that video. Now people I talk to online, they want the link to the site. They want to watch it, too. And all I can say to them is "you sick fucks" along with a speech about how it's actually a man's life being taken and they'll be watching a man fucking die, get fucking slaughtered, that they should show some respect for the dead. Only two of those people have still asked for the link after the speech. I'm so going to hell. And so are they. We're all going to hell. Isn't that a cheery thought? Wait ... there is no Hell ... just extremely bad karma. Next life, I'll be coming back as a fucking amoeba. I'm done typing now. I need to do dishes and get ready for work. I'll write more later. Blessed be.