Just a little Cowboy Bebop humor ... I had a nap ... I had a dream. I'll talk about it now. I'm sitting off in the corner of this dimly-lit room, curled into a tight ball. I'm not on the floor, I think I'm on a bed or a couch or a cot or ... something, but I'm just sitting there, hugging my knees tightly and just watching what's going on before me. I feel like I just want some peace and quiet - like I just want some alone time, just some calm, quiet time ... but I'm not allowed to go anywhere - I'd be in a shitload of trouble if I left my little spot. And there's Evan, about ten feet away, talking to this blonde girl with a French twist and wearing a pink coat - he's mad at her, because she was the one who was supposed to be guarding me and making sure that I stayed in my room - but she'd let me out - I'd gotten past her. And he's telling her about how he can't trust her - then he takes her gun, and just shoots her in the head. I want to scream - but I feel so paralyzed - she falls to the ground. Some men take her away and close the door - and I'm just so scared, suddenly, of Evan. Then he's talking to this guy - but I can't see the other guy, Evan is in the way; his back is to me, and he's holding the guy's collar like he's being interrogated or something. I have no idea what's going on - I'm just watching, all confused, just sitting there. I feel cold, even though there's a blanket around me. I don't remember doing it, but I feel as though I brought the guy from somewhere, somewhere I wasn't supposed to be - and Evan mentions it while he's yelling at this man. (And now that I'm awake, I can't help but wonder if that was the reason why I was in that older man's house in an earlier dream.) I feel like I got him from somewhere, but no one I'm around trusts him, nor do I really, for that matter - but I don't want anything bad to happen to him, I do know that. This man's hands are tied behind his back, and Evan's just shaking him, yelling at him. I don't want him to hurt the guy, but I feel so ... quiet and grounded - and I'm confused. For some reason, I feel like what I'm watching isn't real, like I'm not really there ... you know the feeling, everyone gets it once in a while, when you're somewhere and things are happening around you, yet you feel like you're dreaming ... only this didn't become a lucid dream. I felt like it wasn't real, yet I never became lucid ... it's like I really was awake and thought I was dreaming. It was ... weird. Evan is yelling things at this man, I remember him saying "your sorry ass" - and some other things that were kind of like "he's not supposed to be going out, much less by HIMSELF - and definitely not to save the likes of you, but he got you out of there for HER - God only fucking knows why" or something like that. He said a lot of things, I can't remember them all. I'm trying to block everything out - I'm trying to zone out, so I don't have to go through this, so everything would stop. I hear the guy say "he's a freak" and then Evan threw him against the wall and said something like "never insult him in front of me. He is not a freak. He just wants all of this fighting to stop and everyone to live peacefully. He fucking CARES ... unlike SOME people." And the man says something like "Cares? He cares? Look at him, he doesn't care? He's not even paying attention to what you do to me. You could kill me and he wouldn't notice, and he's sitting right there! Look! All of this is going on around him and he's unresponsive! He's always unresponsive!" Evan punches the guy in the chest ... and it reminds me, the look in his eyes reminds me of how he used to be ... I hadn't seen Evan this violent in a long, long time ... And ... I don't particularly like it, either ... I want to move, I want to tell him to stop it - but I just can't do anything. And Evan's saying "he's overworked, he's NOT unresponsive. Watch." And then Evan lets the guy drop to the floor and walks over to me, stands next to me and asks the guy if he's watching. Then he raises his hand, and touches my head - starts stroking my left temple and cheek and says, very softly, "Seth?" And then it's like ... I can breathe, and I can move ... I loosen up a little, I move my head, looking at him, but it's like I want to bury my head into his hand. Then he just talks very softly to me, he asks me, "Wouldn't you like to untie him, Seth?" And I breathe again, and gradually move out of my blanket, and crawl over to the man on the floor - he's up to his knees by now. And, I'm nervous to, because I'm afraid of what he'll do to me after I untie him, but I slink behind him and untie these what look like electrical cords. I feel like I shouldn't be touching him. Evan just strokes my hair as he walks to the door and says "I'll leave you two alone to talk." And I stare at the guy while Evan leaves, then actually start to pull on the cords; I can tell he's hurt ... He starts laughing - but he's not laughing at me, it's more like a chuckle at Evan, at the door, even though he's not there anymore. "So ... he's like a puppet to you, then? Still controlling him? Still using him for yourself? You haven't changed at all." And all this time, I'm just untying those cords - but I never quite seem to touch him. "He'd do anything for you, wouldn't he? Just have you touch him. Sad." And then I just ... start to crawl away from him, back to my little nook, but he grabs my arm - and I can still feel it on my arm, his grasp - right there, between my elbow and wrist ... right there. And his grip makes me freeze, I think he's going to hurt me - because I feel like he's done that before - so I close my eyes tightly, grit my teeth, and brace myself. And then he speaks lightly to me, he says "Hey, I won't hurt you. I was just angry, that's all." I can still hear him say this, even now that I'm awake - his tone, the fact that there really wasn't any variation in pitch. I open my eyes and breathe again, looking at him - but not AT him, more like at his legs and stomach, because for some reason I find it difficult to look people in the eye ... he starts pulling me back over to him as he's saying "Could you come back over here?" And I find myself being guided by him as I scoot closer and sit on the floor to his left - and I just stare at the floor as he puts his hand on my shoulder, but still holds my arm with his other hand - and he starts talking to me - it's very quiet. He tells me "I'm sorry." And then he goes on to say "We both want it to stop and we both want to find her. Let's work together. Help each other. I know it's hard for you to trust me, but you don't have to, you just have to work with me." And then he wraps his arm around me like I'm a kid and says, "If you want to win this, then you're gonna have to have a will of your own." And this depresses me and confuses me greatly. I start to say something, though I feel like I don't have a voice - but I start to say something, I think it's his name - but I wake up as I try to say it. And that's all ... I don't feel like typing anymore.