I slept last night. I mean, I actually slept. I went to the hospital last night. Something was wrong with me. I couldn't move without falling over. I felt so hot - I mean, really really hot - I was sweating. I had no balance what-so-ever. I would crawl out of bed just to roll over a few times and try to wiggle myself to the door. I was crawling to the kitchen around 5:30 last night when Scott came over. I had just made it to the linoleum and laid down on the nice cool floor when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't thinking - I just said "come in." He didn't like that too much. He came in saying something like "you're not even going to check to see who I am?" and then I heard a "Seth? Where are you?" And I said. "Kitchen. Floor." He came in, he saw me, and he said something and asked me if I could get up. I said no, but then he said something, and then something else and the next thing I knew, he was calling David's cellphone and telling me that he was going to put me in bed until David got home to take me to the hospital. So he did, and I was in my room. I remember squeaking when he picked me up. He'd he do that? I knew that I'd probably be at the hospital all night. I knew that something was wrong with me - I'd been feeling like that since about 8:00 that morning. I'd called the doctor earlier, to see what she thought it might be - she thought it might have been fatigue ... maybe, but was worried anyway and told me to go to the hospital when I could. I managed to crawl over to the computer, to tell Lindsay that I wouldn't be on tonight and not to worry if I wasn't there. I ended up talking to her until Scott came in - and I was on the floor again. Next thing I knew, he and David were dragging me out to the car and then I'm at the hospital emergency room. They put me in this room - regular room, and hooked me up to this IV and it was supposed to flush something out - in case it was the Valeria I took the night before and it was disagreeing with one of my other medications. I spent a majority of the time drinking water and vomiting. But I did get to watch TV. That was night. Inbetween all the vomitting and vomitting, I got to watch the MTV Movie Awards. Lindsay ... t.A.T.u. was there ... and they performed ... that song. You know, the song ... "Not Gonna Get Us" ... I thought about you. It was like ... a dream. Everything seemed like a dream last night. I got home, and I knew that I shouldn't have got onto the computer, but I had to write to Lindsay to tell her that I was going to be okay ... and that was around 12:30 last night. I'm constantly sucking on apple juice now ... CONSTANTLY. Can you OD on apple juice? I got off the phone with the hospital about an hour ago. Turns out that it wasn't the Valerian ... because by 11 yesterday morning, that should have already been out of my system. But, they did make the best assumption that somehow I managed to take two doses of all of my medicines the night before. It's weird ... I don't remember taking them twice ... but it's possible that I did. But ... I got home around 12:30 last night. I went to bed around 12:45. I didn't wake up until 10:00 this morning. And, oh ... it was a good sleep. I don't remember waking up once. But I do remember dreaming. And I don't have long to type this out before David gets back from the store - but I can try. The first thing I remember is being in that room still, and pressing my forehead against the door - my hands are on the door - like I want to go out, but I shouldn't. I want to go out, but I can't - I'm not allowed to, I feel like I'm not allowed to. Sonata is sitting on the bed, just staring at me. He's saying something, but then I take a deep breath. He says "Kolibri" like he's warning me about something, or trying to tell me that I don't have to do something, or apologizing - that kind of way. "Kolibri." But I just grab the handle and run out. And I just start running, my arms are outstretched and I can touched the walls as I'm running. And I'm just running - trying to get to something, but I'm so afraid that I'm going to get caught - I have a feeling that I shouldn't be going to where I'm going - I'll be caught, I'll be punished. But I just keep running. I run past these people and they start chasing me - they're guards, guarding whatever it was that I was running to - but they suddenly freeze and fall to the floor. And I run down this hall full of rooms - and I stop at this one room. I touch the door, like I did before ... and then I just ... step through it. I phase through it, like I'm a ghost. And it's a bedroom. There's sun coming from the windows, there's a woman lying on the bed. She has light hair ... she's very beautiful. I start to go to her, but then I feel like someone's coming, and as the door opens, I phase into the wall, close my eyes, and I can't be seen. My third eye starts working - and I know it's a man, but I can't see him, just his hand and his side - not his face. He's glancing around the room. I know I'm invisible to him. He leaves, he closes the door. I open my eyes - I'm visible again. I go to the bed and sit at the foot, just staring at the girl. I hug my legs and half-bury my face in my knees and I just ... stare at her for a long time ... moreso, I stare at her arms. I'm still scared of being caught, but I can't help but stare at her. After a while, I finally move and prop my chin on my knees and I start singing ... I have a very quiet voice ... it was like ... like I'd been singing for hours, and it was just barely there ... but it was soft ... and I was singing "Rest in Pieces" by Saliva ... It's like I'm just singing a lullaby for her. "Look at me, my depth perception must be off again Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did It has not healed with time It just shot down my spine _ You look so beautiful tonight Remind me how you laid us down And gently smiled before you destroyed my life Would you find it in your heart To make this go away And let me rest in pieces Would you find it in your heart? To make this go away And let me rest in pieces" She moves. I wake up. And ... I have to go now because I just heard David. I love you all ... I love you. Blessed be. Rest in Pieces - Saliva "Look at me, my depth perception must be off again Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did It has not healed with time It just shot down my spine _ You look so beautiful tonight Remind me how you laid us down And gently smiled before you destroyed my life Would you find it in your heart To make this go away And let me rest in pieces Would you find it in your heart? To make this go away And let me rest in pieces Would you find it in your heart? To make it go away And let me rest in pieces Look at me, my depth perception must be off again You got much closer than I thought you did I'm in your reach You held me in your hands But could you find it in your heart? To make this go away And let me rest in pieces Would you find it in your heart? To make it go away And let me rest in ..."