I had a dream where I fought Cris. The sky was blue, perfectly clear, and the sun was shining - it was almost midday, I think. He was in a field, a devastated, smoking field with charred dirt. He wore armor - and was surrounded by men dressed in what looked like Roman soldier attire. And then ... there was just me ... at a distance, at the other side of the field, staring at them. Just me, alone, in a black robe ... I remember this robe, it was very flowy - the wind was ripping, my hair kept blowing into my face. And Cris and his men were in my way. So I fought them. And the whole time, I kept screaming at myself inside - asking myself why I was doing this, commanding myself to stop - but my body refused to listen. For a while now, I've been under the control of someone else. I've been their puppet. First, it was a dark-haired woman - but then she surrendered me over to -him- ... and now, now I have no idea who controls me. It could be -him-, but I don't remember. I don't know. I never see whoever it is now. They are always behind me, pulling the strings. But this time, when I fought Cris, I was alone. Completely alone. I killed several of his men. But somehow - just ... somehow, he bested me in the end. He got me. I don't know how, but I lost consciousness. Last night/this morning I had a dream, where I was awakened, dressed in white scrubs in what gave me the feeling of a mental institution. I had the distinct feeling of weakness, the feeling of being drugged. The room was white, and quiet, and I was strapped down - a precaution, I could tell - no one knew what I would do, if I had regained self-control yet - had to be careful. I didn't even know if I was me yet - until I spoke. Rather, I whispered, "You have to find her. Cris, you have to find her." And I heard him. He was behind me, he muttered something to someone, then came to me, towered over me; I could see his face. He asked me what I meant. I whispered, "Her. I can tell you where she is. But you have to do me a favor." The next thing I remember, I'm in a cave - full of crystals, a cave I've been in before. I wanted Cris to lock me away in the crystal, so that I could not only not be detected, but to protect the world, everything, from myself. I was dangerous. Everything I did, went wrong, everything I touched was destroyed, turned to shit - I was the cause of so much misery and pain. It had to end. Without me awake, there would be no need for such conflict over myself - but most of all, she would be safe. Above all things, she would be safe - and that was what mattered. Cris was to tell no one of where I was, of the caves, of any of this. He was to find her, use all means he had, free her, and protect her from everything ... there would be no need for anyone to hurt her any longer - for I would no longer be a target - because, technically, I would be gone - and she, and anyone else, would no longer have a memory of where I am. I would lie dormant ... for an eternity. I gave Cris a pill to take once at a safe distance from the cave, to make him forget my location, but not my wishes - and ... he just ... hugged me farewell ... before I backed into the crystals, and they enclosed around me. My arms were outstretched at my side - I looked as though I was crucified ... I felt ... as though I was crucified. I felt such pain - I was screaming - crying ... until I lost consciousness ... I was limp - and the crystals enclosed my face ... The air ceased. I felt as though I was suffocating. I awoke this morning, gasping for air. That is all. I am curious about my dreams tonight ... very curious.