Before leaving work, I took it upon myself to go channel surfing. I land on VH1 and notice that Top Model is on. For some reason, I feel compelled to watch. It's the first episode and I can already sense the tension and the girls that I'll want to hate. And then I discover this girl on there - she's very pretty, her name is Elyse - and a med student! Ted comes in, stands over my shoulder for a while, watching this with me, making the occasional remark (i.e. "Oh my god, they let her on the show with that blatant speech impediment?" and "Jesus! How Militantly Christian can a chick get?!" - I'm not sure that militantly is a real word, but I'm sure it is in his world); suddenly he goes quiet and then pipes up "Hey, look, Baxter! It's your twin!" Referring to Elyse. "No it's not!" I say. "YES IT IS!" he insists. "She looks just like you ... but with boobs." "Nuh uh. You lie. Besides, your flattering will not woo me." Ugh, he still insists now. Every time I walked past him, he called me Elyse. Even heard him mention it on the air while I was driving home. "So, I was watching some old episodes of America's Next Top Model on VH1, and I notice something - one of the models looks just like our very own Baxter ... but with breasts!" Oh dear god ... help me.