Sickness. It's not fun. Had the flu all week. Finally I'm back. Sad, though, that I haven't updated since the 7th. Man. I'm really slacking. I was plastered to my bed all day and night yesterday. And they had the cast party for the play last night and guess who they automatically assumed would be DD even though he wasn't invited or even well. So I'd been getting calls all morning from drunken girls for me to come pick them up and take them home. I am tired. One of the girls, R, she hit on me - got all up on me in her wastedness like some kind of trashy slut ... and yeah, virgin my ass. I just pushed her into the back seat, drove her back to Deacon Hall, and walked her to her room. I'm glad I had one of her friends, E, come out of her room due to all the noise and open the dorm room for me. I was too busy fighting this girl off. She's so different when she's drunk. But they say that getting drunk brings out the honest person. THEN! Then, she "lost her balance and fell" on top of me and was like "Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeth, you neeeeeeeed to get laaaaaaaaiiiiid." And I said, "No, I don't." And she said "Come on, Seth. Fuck me. I'm so horny. You know you want to." I said "No, R. I'm too much of a gentleman for that and you know it." And she kept trying to coax me and E was trying to get her off of me, saying that "Yeah, he is too much of a gentleman for that. So go to bed with your horny self and try masterbating for a while." I mean, if I was the kind of guy to try something, I would have - and there was absolutely nothing she could have done to stop me - she's just lucky it was me and not some random guy who would take advantage of her in that state. But God, she just CLUNG to me and would not get off. Her: Come oooooooooooon. You're so hot. Fuck me! Fuck me! Me: NO! I have a girlfriend. Her: She's not here. Me: If she was she would kick your ass. Her: She could join us if she wanted. Me: I really don't think she'd go for that, R. E: You're sick, girl. Her: Come on! I want it! I bet you're a great fuck. Me: Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have to go now. Her: Aww! You're not a virgin, are you? Me: Goodnight, R. Her: SETH'S a VIRGIN!?!? Me: No, but the way you're acting tonight, I won't be able to believe you anymore when you say you are. She's done so much with guys - and I know it, but she's never done that ONE thing - the way she acted last night ... I honestly won't be able to believe it anymore. I WANTED to stay in bed and sleep last night like I had done all day considering I had a fever of 102.2 ... but NO! Nooooooooooooooooo! Seth got volunteered without asking to be a Designated Dave. Nope, nobody asked him - half the people there KNEW I had the flu and they STILL called me. You might think "Seth Glover! Why didn't you just say no?" Because, my lovely, they called me - and if they couldn't get a ride from me, who else could they call? They'd probably start trying to drive themselves. Or walk. That wouldn't be good. And ... it's not like they do this every weekend or anything. I am tired. I didn't get to do my Ostara ceremony last weekend due to all the thunderstorms we had, so I was going to do it today. I may not get to do it. I'm just too tired ... and it's been raining off and on all day. And lately, I've been asking myself ... am I on the right path? Is this what I should be doing? I've been feeling like I'm realizing something slowly. I mean, I believe in Wicca - but I believe in different pieces of other religions, too. It's like ... every religion holds a little truth in it. It feels like it's all starting to come together - I just keep realizing things ... and it makes me feel ... strange. Strange good, but ... that good feeling scares me. I mean, what happens when I suddenly realize what the truth is? Enlightenment? I want it ... but ... I'm not ready for it, I don't think. I mean ... I'm still young. I don't know what's going to happen once I become enlightened. Buddhists say you get absorbed into Nirvana ... but ... I don't want that. Not yet. I want this. I want to finish college. I want to watch Dakota have her first steps, her first word, her first birthday. I want to see Canada. I want to hold my lovely in my arms. I want, I want, I want. Buddhists would say that my wanting is what's keeping me here, that what's keeping me from Enlightenment is my human desire. And that's fine with me! I'm not ready to go yet. Melissa can tell. She can tell that I'm getting closer to something and that I'm scared - that I want to get there and yet I don't want to leave yet. ... how did I get on this subject? I have to be up early on Sunday because I have some singing with the choir to do for Church Services. It's required. But then, I like Settle Memorial. It's a nice church - and KWC's mother church - it being a Methodist-affiliated college and all. Oh! We found a duplex near Brecia University. It's really nice. Spacious. Bathroom's a little scary ... and the stove looks like it's about to fall apart, but hey! For only $395 a month for three bedrooms ... that's great! With a little fixing up, that place could look great. Plus, that area of town has practically no crime at all. It would be a nice place to be ... and it's practically a house! And the ceilings are nearly fifteen feet high ... it would be a nice place if we just worked this summer on fixing it up. And I think Lee would like it ... there's a lot of space, so much space, and he just kind of ... yeah! A back porch that's pretty much all windows and perfect for a mini-greenhouse ... he'd really like that. And Melissa, Kelley, and Meredith are looking at the one right next door to it. That would be marvelous, I think. It's sad, though, when you can find a spacious duplex in a good neighborhood that's cheaper than a 2-bedroom apartment WITHOUT a washer and dryer. We're really hoping we get it ... It's rather old-looking ... like ... I keep expecting Aunt Jemima to walk out of the kitchen. I'm in a much greater mood and state of health now than I have been all week. Well, mood anyway - depite the lack of sleep and all. And now ... I don't really know what else to talk about ... I'm sure there will be more in ... another twenty days or whatever. I'm off to go practice and memorize songs for my panel judging next weekend. Yeah. Then back to bed. Then off to talk with my lovely! Whom I miss so very, very, very much. Pssssst. I got my lovely a present ... but I'm not going to tell her what it is because I want her to be surprised. ... aren't I just evil?