I'm on my third corndog ... I don't think I'll be able to finish it, but, by God, I'm going to try. (*burp*) I came out of the kitchen as David was leaving, with my three corndogs arranged in a triangle around the mustard-kethup mix in the center - and he just stared at me for a minute. I said "What?" He shook his head and quoted from Shallow Hal, "I know what you're thinking. Where does he put it, right?" And I said "Gimme a break. I haven't eaten anything since that rabbit food you made for dinner last night." (David made salad - as opposed to his usual meat - usually fried up on the George Foreman grill - and creative potatoes dish. Not that I didn't welcome the change or anything, I just ... it was weird.) And ... I am so very unable to finish this corndog. Two and a half isn't that bad, hm? *cough* Okay ... so ... yeah. I'm a scrawny, tiny, little itty bitty runt of a 21-year-old. This is a very, very sad sight. Yeah, people have told me that I'd be good to have in music videos and films - but, you know what? I'd rather perform on stage, thanks. Live performances are the way to go. Movies and videos are often so very, very overrated. On another note, I'm feeling very tired and sleepy ... and I woke up an hour ago ... I know I had more than enough sleep - so why am I so tired? I have class at 5:30 tonight. Fun times. Got to get a shower and go to the store before then, though. And, alas, I have a test on Thursday ... over three chapters ... two of which, we are going to cover TONIGHT alone! And the first one, well, we just didn't go over in class at all - but she IS handing us an outline tonight to help us study. And, of course, luckily this will be open book. Let's talk about dreams. A couple nights ago, I had a dream that reminded me of the holocaust - in which I was trying to hide this group of children in a safe, secret annex to keep them from being killed by the people outside - just because of what we were ... because we weren't like them, we were being hunted. I was maybe 17 in the dream, and my mother was there. She handed me a key. At first, I didn't know what this key was for, but then she said "take them to the cubboard" - and I knew that a secret hiding place was hidden in that cubboard ... I won't go into details, but let's just say that I didn't go in there with them, and gave a spare key to the oldest, even though they wanted me to go in with them. No, I had to protect them, so that no one would find them - so I stayed on the outside and made sure that the cabinet didn't look suspicious - then ran outside, I think, to distract the people. They'd already killed the man I was with, and I was shot before I even made it out the door ... and that woke me up. But there was a girl in it. The oldest child. She was 14, I think, and wore light green ... Asian-looking girl with long, dark hair in these low pigtails ... She was the oldest, she was who I appointed leader when I slammed the cabinet shut and locked it. She was in my dreams last night ... and I remembered her name. But ... I'll get to that in a minute. First, the Dream Directory says that a key can stand for POWER and access. "What is most interesting is to find a key that previously had no meaning for you. This is especially important when the key has no direct use, but "feels" as if ti might be important. In a dream like this, you are probably searching for options to identify new potential within yourself or in relationship to others. And, just for Lindsay ... Mirror: In dreams, mirrors can reflect directly, reflect with additions or deletions, or serve as a doorway into another reality as in Alice in Wonderland. The mirror is troubling because it shows us plainly what is before us, forcing us to interpret and evaluate whether or not we like what we see. In Tristan's sense - blue topaz ... Topaz is the crystal of spiritual wisdom and INTUITION. Often, it is found in dreams of Problem-solving concerning interpersonal relationships. (Yes, this seems very fitting for Tristan.) And blue means nobility or tranquility. Yes ... yes very Tristan. And black - as if in the black stones on my head-dress, and the fact that I often wear it in my dreams ... it means "POWER." How about that? Dream time. I'm laying in bed ... on the second floor of my cabin in the woods. It's my room - it's always been my room. It's dark - brown mostly (Dream Directory says brown means "earth, natural" - mm hmm.) The walls, however, are made of wood, stained wood - dark. Cherry, I think. The closet is a few feet from the foot of the bed - the windows - they're a little high up and small. Curtains, however, are a very sheer white fabric, and there are thicker drapes that are pulled to the sides - they're brown, too. My bedsheets are white, but the blanket is also brown, the quilt is various shades of brown. The door is to my right, and it's open - the hall is light-colored. There's a rocking chair with a brown/orage/yellow knitted afkin on it, to my right as well, just beyond the nighstand, near the window. There are nightstands on either side of my bed, with these lamps of wood. The lamps themselves are simple, but they're attached to these wooden cabinet-looking things that have glass around them - like boxes - and on the inside of these boxes are electric candles that are orange and appear to actually be flickering ... and I'm just laying there, on my right side, my right arm tucked under the pillow, my left arm over it, and I'm watching the electric candle in the case ... just watching it "flicker." Risa, my kitten, is curled up next to my stomach, sleeping - like I know I should be. I remember this room in such good detail because ... I've been there before. Lots of times. I could probably draw this room or recreate it in a diorama if asked to ... And I'm just staring at this "candle" ... and then Evan comes in with this tray and sets it on the nightstand - just some hot tea to drink because ... I'm sick. I'm so very sick, lying in bed, and tired. He pulls the rocking chair to the side of my bed and sits in it, staring at me. Then he says "thought you were awake." And I know, I just know, that I am deathly pale, with dark circles under my eyes, that I just look like a ghost ... I know I do. He helps me to sit up, and props me against the headboard, and I pull Risa into my lap. He hands me the cup of tea, then strokes my hair and I try to smile, but then I hear a knock on the door downstairs. And I'm confused, because no one comes to my cabin in the woods ... And he gets up and I suddenly want to ask if Niveus is in her room and safe - and he points his finger at me as if he doesn't want me to say a word and just says in a whisper "Yes." And walks out of the room. And I can hear him go down the stairs. I'm not alarmed by this newcomer, like I should be with having strange people come to my home - which is supposed to be a safe and secluded area, unknown to anyone but a chosen few ... And I can't move - I just can't move, so I just sit there, holding that cup of tea that feels so warm in my hands that I just seem to ... absorb it. I think on drinking it, but then I hear two pairs of feet walking up the stairs, and I put the cup on the nightstand - voices. Evan's and a young woman's ... and the woman seems cheerful and excited, I can hear the smile in her voice. I just start petting Risa and staring at the open door, and Evan comes back in and says "you have a visitor" ... And in walks this girl - the Asian girl, and she looks about 17 or 18 years old ... and she's wearing this black tanktop and plaid pants - and she has this rusty-colored small backpack on. And Evan says "You remember Nala, don't you?" And I raise my hand and protest, but it only comes out in a whisper - and a broken whisper at that, "No ... Winnifred. Her name is Winnie." And then the girl squeals and jumps, then lunges at me, laughing "Kolibri!" And hugs me tightly. "You remember me!" she says, and kisses my forehead - and I give her a faint pat on the back, and then I wake up. And that's that. I'll write out another dream soon. I've run out of time today. Must get shower and go to store, go to class ... yeah. I'll be in tonight around 9-ish. Take care, everyone. Blessed be.