Well I have to add another entry, why? i am really super, uber bored and have nothing else to do at 2 o'clock in the morining. I have been going to summer school for math (because i am a dumbass, i didn't even fail!) and i really shouldn't be up this late, but hey, when you put a computer in my room, i think i am going to have alot of those nights. I am still depressed. It is a depression that isn't going to go away untill i have someone to hold and tell me it is ok. I am trying, beleive me, i want someone sooo bad right now. But no one really wants me. Sure amanda says she loves me, and it is just as a friend (I would like to keep it that way too!) but when someone says i love, they should mean, i love you. I want someone to say it too me that really means it and wants to hold me and never let me go. I want someone to feel something for me. I am odd in all sorts of ways. I am depressed when i have dreams where poeple love me, and i am depressed when i don't. i think it is the few moments in my dreams that feel so real that make me happy. It is sad when all you have to look forward too is a dream. Don't deoend on dreams either. I got a nasty scare the other night, a really bad nighmare, is was a re-occuring one. this is what happened; Ok so what happened was that there are these places on the net, almost like virtual reality, and you figh the aliens. like you kno the aliens in Aliens. and you can die. in the first one i had i was fighting for my life and i had to break the rules, then i had to save someone. But in this one, amanda was with me and i had to break the rules to save her and myself. Then the people at the center thinger took me there for punishment, but i survived. Then i find my friend, this old guy that means alot to me and i have to get him out of there. then like this dead human body/alien thinger with loads of arms grabs me and takes me away. after i kill it i have to go to the sience part of the center and figure something out. and then the warewolves that are gards go crazy and start to kill everone and i have to defend myself agian. then i woke up The strange thing was, i had this feeling that i had to protect someone. i think something must have made me feel that amanda(who was sleeping over) was in somesort of trouble. but everything was ok. I need to get a dream diary or something. o well that all for now fucks...i mean folks (www.projectdck.com) Comment. it makes me feel loved.