i feel like this is it...no desire to do anything anymore. My parents don't take me serious...just as the rest of people out there. I'm either faking it, not being honest, or joking....thats all I hear anymore. FUCK YOU ALL! I'm just ready to die. Destroyed it all...my parents don't understand me either. Dad's laughin at me, cuz he says life can't be that bad, and I should put a smile to my face, and my mom's trying to talk to me and just gets fed up and thinks i'm being stupid. i can't go on like this....................I FUCKIN CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!!! Hurting Rae, going too far with Nini, hurting craig, and ofcourse "tryin to fool everyone" so that they feel bad for me..... yea...sure...I cry on command. Fuck you, people! Whats that Vicky? I'm just weird? Fuck You!! Fuck You, Dad! and especially Mom! Fuck You especially! I'm loosin it.........and no, Chantal. I'm not gonna lighten up and try to be happy and have happy thoughts, cuz I'm fuckin through with livin a fuckin lie! I'll continue to look "awful", which is a nice way you put it. AND WHO EVER IS "NOT ONLINE UNTIL SATURDAY" IN MY CONTACT LIST --- FUCK YOU THE MOST, BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN ANNOY ME, BY COMING ONLINE EVERY 2 MINUTES!!! STAY THE FUCK OFFLINE IF YOU DECIDE TO COME BACK SATURDAY!!!!!!! I'M GONNA FUCKIN DISAPPEAR....NO PICKIN UP THE PHONE, NO IM, NO E-MAIL.....MAYBE THAT WAY I WON'T FUCKIN HURT ANYONE ANYMORE!!!!!