Well, I ended up deleting all of my entries and starting from scratch. I feel like throwing away part of my past, and the way I could approach that, I felt I had to do this. Anyways, whats been happening lately: I've started biking to school. I must say, I find it a lot of fun. Its good exercise, as it takes around 30 minutes to get there, and after school, I find myself biking a lot of stress out of myself. Lol, I remember the first day I started biking. I ran into (nothing that serious) a little girl who didn't see me (nor did I see her) at a crossing. We both slammed the breaks and to avoid her falling and crashing into me, I caught and stopped her bike with one of my arms. Its a good thing we both didn't go at full speed, things could've looked much worse. O well, others than that, this school year is pretty boring. I got a lot of free-periods, especially in the morning, where I can just sleep in. Its similar to last year, but now I have so many free periods, its not even funny. My parents should be paying 1/4 of the school money :P Well, no school tomorrow. Long, three-day weekend, so I might just catch up on a few things, get a haircut tomorrow or something. Geez, I can't wait to get out of this place. I feel my depression will get a whole heck better, once I start living my very own life. I still have no plan on how to continue after school. I need to raise money to get to college....and although I keep talking about Art College and everything, I'm beginning to have doubts of how probable it is. O well...man this chick is pissing me off. There's this girl on msn and she's pissed at something, and just told me to fuck of, when I said "Hi, whats up". Reminds me of a conversation I had with a classmate of mine. I told her how fucked up guys can be...lol. Yea, didn't really have a great day yesterday either, but who really cares anymore. Dunno whats up with Rae either....dunno actually whats up with us to be honest. I feel like a part of her is drifting away from me, because of how I've changed.....if infact I did, but I think thats not debatable. I hate myself sometimes...and its actually more frequent now. I see myself being my dad already...always has to be right, doesn't like critisism, macho, blah blah blah.....god, someone shoot me. Yea, come to my house and shoot me...lol :D *yawwwn*....getting back to Rae. Hmm..its weird....I was just thinking. We (or actually I) make such a big deal out of it, if I ask her what she's doing and she won't tell me, because its just something very uninteresting...and I was just thinking, cause it seems to be just a really normal question over here in germany (I dunno about the states) but yea...its just weird how I sit there for 15 minutes, trying to get an answer, lol. :) What else is going on....bunch of people were online today. Bunch of people from Bainbridge as well, and oh yea! lol, I made dinner tonight for a change. Tortillas...hmmmmm...yummy :) Well, I'm gonna stay online to see if Rae comes on, cuz our last convo was weird as well.....which again can be blamed for my part. I asked her what she was doing and like any other day, she was talking to Brian. Then there was silence and she started reading something and wouldn't tell me what it was. What I didn't know at that time, was that Brian was offline, and so I started thinking that Brian wrote her a big e-mail and with every time she wouldn't tell me what it was, lol, I kept making my thought about an e-mail or chat convo with Brian more believable. Well, doesn't seem to bother anyone...just keep me scared ;) ok well, like I said, I'm gonna go. ttyl later people!