Rae talks about trying to make it through the year without someone, which personally makes me feel more secure and puts worries off, but if she does go out with someone I really would rather not know about it, because something seriously is up with me, that puts me under a uncontrollable depression when it comes to knowing or not knowing what Rae is doing, where, with who and if she's alright. Especially knowing or not knowing it, when being on the other side of the planet. I love Rae to a point that no one finds realistic anymore and this realism affets my feelings to the slightest degree. In other words, I think about Rae every single minute. I get so in thoughts with her that I write her initials into my notebook, onto the school wall, in the bus or anywhere else. I save many pictures of her on my computer, I wake up and the first thing I think about, is if Rae is at school already, and I used to think if she's gone out smoking.