2 years. It feels so distant. Let me recap. I made it back to Germany in one piece. I cannot remember much after that. Darkness took me. Much was like it is now. I completed school and had to look for a job. Eventually - in a nutshell - I made it to cologne for an internship at a sound studio. I took most of the time to heal some wounds, get on track with my life, get back into game development and talk to old friends of mine. Eventually, in fact, I started to have fun. I met with Flo and spent roughly 6 months in cologne. Back in Berlin, in November of 2006, it didn't take long for me to get a job in Hamburg. Game Development, the one thing I always wanted to do. To make a long story short - I've been living in Hamburg for the past year now. I made lots of contacts, but I guess you can hardly call them friends... I was never really the most outgoing person. Apart from the job, and the fact that I'll be doing my driver's license soon - the biggest news is my new girlfriend - Sibel. We met online, while I was chatting in some dating rooms. I guess I was sick of my past, and just took the chance and time to sit down and change things in my life. Seemed to have worked. It will take me a while to fully express the things that have happened, the relationship between Sibel and I and just my life in general. I don't have much strength to write anymore. I don't have much strength for anything anymore. Yes I know - its confusing to read when there is absolutely no reason that I shouldn't be happy and motivated and alive. I guess the fact that even now I seem to be emotionally unstable - within a relationship and a life of my own - it shows that something is wrong. something is very wrong. Perhaps I'm just not a happy person. Perhaps I take things to hard on myself or I am a victim of my own emotions as someone once told me.