I suppose this is my first private post. I decided to write on like this, so that I can express my feelings without hurting rae or anyone else. dammit...i guess now I can really express myself without the fear of anyone ever finding out what I feel. Well I suppose most of what I feel, is out on my diary already. Ive had mixed feelings concerning Rae, and I'm not as sure anymore if anything will ever work out between us. We click together yes, but part of a relationship is clicking apart as well, and somehow that doesnt work. dunno...maybe its me, maybe its her, maybe its god knows who. lol - now i can actually post my thoughts on Danny. MOTHERFUCKIN DAMN! he's ugly!! holy shit. lol - im not kidding. that other dude....eh forgot whos face..he seemed way more handsome lol. but meh - not my decision...but damn! haha anyways...i see that rae just doesnt get it, and I see that i just dont get it. I cant feel someone loving me at a distance, if nothing is happening. lol. I dunno if thats wrong or not, and Rae kept saying "you should know, you should know" - well how the fuck am I supposed to know if u go and set off with nathan and danny?? lol - was I supposed to know when you lost ur virginity on - whatever his face was? i dunno what ur issues are on relationships, if u need an open relationship, then i guess things will never work out between us, and i dont see u wanting to pick up on us anyways. well - ive actually given it up long ago. ive got feelings for you, yes...but thats irrelevant if they're not returned. anyways...i dunno...lol....rae totally lost it, changed! yes I do critize her! and im being a fuck! she called...hmm....ONCE in the last three years and did we talk? uhmmm.....not much! lol oh but I do know u love me. We dont need words to understand eachother...just physical touch, right? im saved by god that this entry is private. shed kill me. sorry, but i just get highly pissed god dammit!! lol anyways, shes online...well shes been online for quite some time but hasnt been talking to me...what a suprise. lol i gtg - ttyl!