yea...well....got nothing to do. kinda bored. i was hoping this isnt gonna happen, but im fuckin depressed and i really dont know why. im prolly not goin to rock n bowl tomorrow...i dunno....depends on the ppl. if brandi is there, ill go. if no one else besides rae is there (that I know), then i wont. its for the best - and i always have stuff to do here, so...yea. man this sux...for the past 2 years i was trying to get over rae, and thought I made it, and now comin here, it like all comes back...and i have no clue as to why. well im gonna go see steff on wednesday...get me on other thoughts and stuff.. school will do me good too - I HOPE! shit if I see danny and the other guy hangin out, then fuck that.....dammit. i had no clue this was gonna happen. my friends and parents were so right about all this being a bad idea. well I mean, its not bad, bad...I'm happy I'm here etc, but this shit makes me jump the wall...fuck. well maybe im just talking myself into something. What pisses me off besides that is the thing in January - my internship - because i never felt like doing it, and when I return to germany, i will have to do it for 3 months. i guess itll get me on other thoughts too at least....i hope. I dont wanna sit another 2 years trying to get over her... i just dont get it.