I need Rae so incredibly much. Suicide-Rates for single teenagers in germany are growing every year. I have a fear of loss. Loss of something that keeps me alive, physically & mentally, but what can I do... Joel can overrun me in anything. He's the star, the party master, the clown, everything that I'll never be. I'm just a shadow in everyone's heart. "Too good to be true" A Dream, a lost Dream. Joel doesn't like me, he knows how weak I am towards him. He knows...... I'm drowning. My heart is cut and bleeding. Its not Rae; she's just in love with two people...its me because with true love, nothing else matters, my acting and the way I hurt Rae in the past, turned everything around. Not that its not true love, but I'm on an equal level with Joel, or so it seems. Like Rae said "I'm not the same Felix I was at the beginning" I love Rae.