Seem to have mood-swings the last couple days. November is really confusing me I suppose. When Rae and I parted, I thought I had it all under control. Took me some time, but I was ready to move on. I just didnt care anymore....went on with my own life. We parted, we went on with our lives. Now that we're back in touch, meeting in November, it all seems to come back. I talked to Rae, and she said she's got a weird, but positive feeling about it. I just notice that I suppose I still feel protective over her. She's happy together with Danny, and I just have to accept that. Its not my place to change that. People tell me its wrong to see her - others say that because of what we've been through together, a relationship might be stronger than anything else. I don't listen to either....November, at least for me, is a chance, an oppertunity to sort things out for good. I'll let my feelings n my mind guide the way. We've both grown, and I just wanna leave the past behind - the fighting, the bad memories, and just move on - in whatever shape or form. With or without her. Sidenote: Today Rae made a comment, and although it was a small, meaningless one - it gave me stuff to think about. She wanted me to call her on her cell - and its Homecoming today. I told her that I can't and besides, it wouldnt be very nice to have ex boyfriends call during homecoming, while their exgirls are hanging out with their boyfriends. She responded: I don't care. I guess my first reaction was that it was the reason I keep critizing, because being her boy, Id be highly pissed - if she'd say that to Joel. On the other hand - it made me think. Its not my place to critize her thoughts - not my place to control what she does. :) I think with time I will learn to just acccept the way things are, instead of changing them. Thanx Kiira, for giving me someone to talk to, and thank you Rae, for being there and although having it hard with me, always having faith, love and trust in me.