Thoughts that come into my head because I'm so in love with Rae and I'm not able to ever live without her, nor do I ever want to loose her. I cannot help this depression, these worries, these thoughts, its just something that grew inside this love I have for Rae. This love that grows stronger everyday and again I've thought about suicide, after I leave, but I will most likely try and get some help. Most importantly I need to stay in touch with Rae and hopefully my parents will play a supporting role while I'm away from Rae. Again, as I told Rae, I don't need anyone to be with me while I'm back in Berlin, but I need Rae in my life. I'm in the positions to say that I'm not going for any stupid german girl nor anyone else, because I'll stay true to Rae and even if I'd take a chance with another girl, I would hurt her feelings because I'd still think of Rae every minute.