Feeling: unconcious sometimes i would rather be numb. i love you i wish you wouldn't have left i hate you i am glad you left i love you you made me whole i hate you you made me dependent i love you i need you with me i hate you i never want to see your face again i love you i want to be with you i hate you i want you to die i love you i wish you were here i hate you i wish you never entered my life i love you you completed me i hate you you ripped me apart i love you you made me laugh i hate you you make me cry i love you you healed my broken heart i hate you you broke it again i love you i miss you i hate you i miss you just a little something i came up with on an emo day while staring at the back of skyler's head. drilling all of my emotions into his skull hoping he would understand how i feel through electronic waves. or something of the like. but my day isn't so emo as that day. today was "the annual brigham city bonnevills rod and custom car show." it sprinkled. it made lionel dirty. and me cold. i was wearing two sweatshirts and two blankets and still shivering. i'm going to die during winter. i wish i could hibernate like bears. or better yet, fly away to jamaica for the winter. i wish i could fly. teresa is right. i despise seeing the the same face on three hundred different girls everyday. i want to go to homecoming only so i can dress up. and if i do get asked i want it to be by someone who isn't afraid to be with me in my dressed up state. or better yet someone who would dress up with me. no takers eh? evening starts at 5 45 in the fall. 4 in the winter. 6 in the spring. 6 30 in the summer. i'm almost glad summer is over and school has started. not because i get to see all of my acquaintances whom i somehow lost contact with over the summer. but because have something to do during the majority of the day. its a shame how many of my "friends" i lost contact with over the summer. but its ok cause i got to be even better friends with teresa over the summer. and she is all that counts. i do wish i could update more often though. nothing to say for a while. ------------- life's like an hourglass glued to the table. i like: 1. swings 2. thunderstorms 3. english 4. the dresden dolls 5. black things 6. technical theatre 7. indian food 8. swimming 9. arm socks 10. jewelry 11. make up 12. opera 13. crayons 14. big sweatshirts 15. psychology 16. writing 17. computers 18. maturity 19. horror films 20. black feather boas 21. dressing up 22. brain films 23. showering 24. GTOs 25. soap i don't like: 1. bananas 2. immaturity 3. spiders 4. science 5. pink 6. cheerleaders 7. high school 8. light 9. feet 10. lectures 11. sophomores 12. birds 13. organisation 14. american 15. meat 16. misspelling 17. dry skin 18. brussel sprouts 19. house arrest 20. PT Cruisers 21. extreme cold 22. tomatoes 23. dolls 24. cats 25. girls the dislike list was rather difficult. but at the same time finding things that make me sound interesting was difficult for the like list. i like a lot of things. but i dislike a lot of things too. "what if nothing were real and everything was an illusion? then i definately paid too much for my carpet." -Woody Allen Scary Movie 3 isn't scary. or funny like it is supposed to be. why are those stupid blog quiz things so addicting? i despise them. i really wish i could kiss. or be kissed. i saw some pictures of people kissing and i realised, i haven't gotten to kiss anyone in a while. i really miss it. maybe that is the reason i miss skyler. i miss being able to kiss whenever i want. i wish i knew.