This is a good feeling, this peacefulness. Nothing to worry me, no stress. Its been a while since this feeling. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, soul-searching if you will. I think it has done me a lot of good. I realised what I have and what I need. I've realised that my life really isn't bad like I used to think. I am blessed in life. a house a wonderful boyfriend some money some food electricity and running water I couldn't ask for more. Except perhaps a library card. I have this new found independence. I could never sit in a public library by myself and diary. I was always too self-concious. People might recognise me being myself. But here, no one knows me. I can be anonymous. People don't look at you weird because you're sitting on your own, face buried in your laptop. Its a normal occurance. I don't mind that some random old guy sat down at the table with me. the old woman with her straw hat the college kid with his walkman, headbanging to his music the poor girl with only one usable arm the library staff in the apron hauling books back to their proper spot the young mother with a large stack of books pushing a stroller with three kids in tow the "Goodmorning Baltimore" ringtone the middle aged woman with shorts and ankle socks I love this life.