with every sip i long for him more. i wish sugar water didn't remind me so much of him. they're just so sweet and desirable. kind of like him. boy do i miss him. i really hate the first few months of relationships. not just this one but all of them. its the obsession stage. where you can't seem to get enough of the one you are with. you want to be with him (or in some cases her) all the time and you feel as though you are going to die without him. of course after you have been together for a while you still want to be with them but its not as, what do i want to say? obsessive? i think the first few months of a relationship is a really emo stage too. for example: ryan tucked me in last night because i kept falling asleep. when i heard my door shut i started crying. crying because i missed him. i hadn't been away from him for longer than thirty seconds and i already missed him. but on the other hand, those first few months help you decide whether you love him or just lust for him. it is a thinking time. sometimes the longer it takes the better. i got him sick. i kissed him a few times and now he's worse than me. i told him to take a day or two off work but he said he can't cause they're really short-handed and need him. poor guy. i want to cry for him. i almost cried this morning. i'm not sure what for. maybe its because i was tired, felt really shitty, missed ryan, felt bad about the night before. any number of things. maybe i am pregnant. but i would have had to have been impregnated while i was unconcious. ryan would kick that person's butt. just cause he's cool like that. i got a goldfishy today. my biology teacher gave him to me. poor guy. he's been poured out of so many containers today. no wonder he keeps freaking out. i wish ryan's hair cut wouldn't take a long time. i wish i wasn't so pathetic for him.