it didn't end poorly. but it didn't end wonderfully either. i'm supposed to see him today. i guess it was better for the both of us. he's leaving. i was working too hard at it. i talked to my dad last night. i never talk to him about relationship problems. it was awkward. but it felt good at the same time. he calmed me down a bit. then i cried. crawled in bed and cried. i cried hard. i don't for how long. i cried and woke up at six thirty. it was better for the both of us. we need to live. he's nineteen. he has his whole life ahead of him. i don't want to hold him back. he needs to go. he called it wanderlust. where he just needs to experience. i need to live. i need to go out and have fun. i need to be by myself for a while. make friends. have crazy nights. neither of us could have done that if we were still together. but it still hurts. i think of all the good times we did have. the times we weren't fighting. they were fun. they were amazing. i guess i have something to look forward to next time. it kills me to say that. it rips me apart to say that. it sounds like i'm throwing him out of my life. i'm not. he was great. he still is. things just didn't work out too great. i'm going to miss him. i'm going to miss him terribly.