confusion

by keepsondreamin on December 1st 2003, 12:00AM

Listening to: cold

Feeling: wrong

how can someone hurt me if i didnt even let them under my skin? i kept all my pain a secret, all my dark past, i kept it all inside. a rare few people get to see me without all my walls up, and that is usually when ive gotten so lost that i have no other choice, i just break down. so i dont understand. i dont need most people, so why does it hurt when they dont want/need me? oh well. ill get over it, i always do. just another person, right? yep, just another person that did something to screw with me. i dont get what the fuck is up with people these days, or were people always like this? i added a lil more to that last poem, ill probably add even more, but being sick today i am lazy and i dont want to think right now. i realize that it doesnt sound like a very good ending. ha. so here i sit holding back the tears hoping none of this will matter in a number of years you're only human, but that doesnt change the things you said im not unhappy under the smile, i just feel dead just another person i found out i couldnt trust my happiness rots and is covered in rust i thought you were different, but you are just like them all i see your smile as you're watching me fall watching and waiting for just one trustworthy hand my control runs through my fingers faster than sand mhmmm....my weekend pretty much sucked, and then today i had a dream that someone raped me while i was playing piano--one of the first nightmares i have had in months, and then i dreamed that someone was trying to kill two horses so i rode away with them to try and save them but we couldnt get away from the person...yeah, i dont really know how to interperet any of these dreams, and even if i did i cant remember enough details...oh well. Sad

You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla have a nice day tommorow. ill try to. -me

Read 3 comments

hey...looks like we share emotions...i have walls that i put up too :( um come to my site if possible...i need feedback on my entry...please

[Anonymous]

becca!!your awesome, quit being so down!it makes me sad to hear when ur upset, but i know this is one of the few ways to let it all out.just remember i am always here for you, don't you ever forget! btw, did i tell you bout my blind date yet??email me @ starrynight0789@hotmail.com and i'll letcha know what's up with that.also, how do you get cool pics for ur background?and how do you get a pic of urself?i don't have a scanner or nething!g2g luvu!

hey thanx for the post...i wont do it...at least not in my right mind. but do u think i should move on or what? cuz im not sure and i really need some other opinions...