today i was strangely happy for the first time in maybe a week-maybemore. and im talking about the kind of happy where you can still smile and act like an idiot to make people laugh even when there are a million reasons to make you cry. and YOU. you. you need to stop lying to my friends, you fucking asshole. you stupid fucking fake, you have changed so fucking much. lol. a sarcastic lying christian. hate to say it, but ive never heard that one before. and its easy to see why you hate yourself. just thought id tell you that if you dont stop hurting people i care about, that you supposedly "care" about, im going to get excessively pissed off at you. i already feel like burning your house down, but i guess that wouldnt be very nice. killing you would only put you out of your misery. and by the way, you dont understand my reasons. i dont think its gods fault at all. and dont tell me you care about me just because its your christian duty. just because god forgives you when you lie to his other children and hurt them doesnt mean i have to. just remember, that non-christian becca is a very scary girl. especially non-christian becca with an irish temper. youve been warned. wow, taht was overdramatic. im just sick of seeing my friends get hurt by some fruit that constantly lies. when you were gone something came back with you. you may not think youve changed, but you have, i think so and ive asked a few close friends, they all agree with me. and its not a good change, bud. better shape up, or we will be partying the day you leave. ________________________ wow, im "mean". haha ok, so i was so happy today, it sounds corny but i was. and kelsey smacked me yesterday because she thought i said that i had 70 year old man legs, when i didnt say that. and i was acting totally retarted, and probably making a fool of myself, but its ok, because it was fun, and everyone was smiling and laughing with me, and its good to see everyone smiling when times are hard and weeks are poop. and id like to thank my friends, one in particular for cheering me up today. and it doesnt mean i stopped thinking like that, while i was waiting for my mom to pick me up i was thinking about how it jsut seems like the sky is a bright blue/stormy gray lid to our world, and how its really nothingness that goes on forever [maybe, but its hard to think otherwise, because if it stops, then whats on the other side?] and it made me realize how small i am in the scheme of everything and how stupid i am. cheers to the psychic. you know, im not going to come back until i trust myself to talk to you, and that is when you get off. but ill take the chance.