fuck dreams, and fuck pain

Listening to: drowning pool
Feeling: alone
i am so stupid. i cant control myself, and therefore i am a complete idiot. i dont understand people at all, especially myself. i need to stop caring about someone who never cared about me. yeah, i do still care about him, but we kept hurting each other...that was so weird...i need to get over myself, and over him. i dont even know him and he will never like me and i am stupid for dreaming. it is better for me not to dream. dreams cause let downs, and let downs cause pain. fuck pain. i wont dream, dreams are stupid, if i have no way to pass my time except for dreaming then i need to get a life. i have more friends than i could ask for and i love them dearly. but i am still alone, i still feel alone, i will always be alone. we are all alone. dont kid yourself, everyone leaves eventually. everyone leaves, and then we are all alone, so we were always alone. its an illusion. a happy dream. i will die alone. will anyone remember my name? no. they wont remember me as a happy person, or someone that they needed. today i had a dream that i was happy. i had a dream that the world was a nice place. then i remembered how shallow everyone is, how stupid everyone is, how fake everyone is. especially me. so fuck dreams. go dream away your pain, dream of a happy place. id rather live in my reality, my realistic nightmares. yeah i know, im a whiney bitch who needs to get over myself. by the way, i am going to springfeild tomorrow and im coming back on saturday or sunday, i dont know when, either way i wont be able to update unless my aunt lets me on their computer.
Read 15 comments
want to kill me? i wouldn't mind
you sure? it sounds kinda nice

hey, is it almost 2 there or almost 3? it is almost midnight here.

yeh, something bad happened, it was me

it was billy

we happened, and then, we didn't

and i am still happening and i wish i weren't
you are sweet and it means alot to me but don't waste your time on me i am worthless
thanks but i happen to disagree
sorry

guess that is where you and i are different, i give up too easily
you are not a whiny bitch. i am her. and i am the one that needs to get over myself
oh you have got it all wrong hunny
i am nothing
i am noone
i am useless
i am worthless
i am nothing but jess
and jess is unwanted and unloved
i agree that i am jess too, but i also agree with the rest of what i said

and she said i have a cool style haha
sorry i am such a pain in the ass
no its not you
its me
its always me
i do everything wrong
i am sorry
you are cute and sweet

thanks a bundle

and i love you
::thanks for loving me:: and i hope she lets you on line too
or i will be sad
ok, have fun, g*night
leavin what? the band? nope im not leaving the band!!trust me....ahhh im excited!!lyl
peace out
Nicole
[Anonymous]