my goodness, i am so confused about what i want right now. i sat down yesterday and thought and daydreamed, which i do sometimes in my spare time. and i realized how much i have changed and how im not sure if i like it. and how i dont think i do. like how i never think about the things i used to think about. and how i hate that. like how thoughts of i wish i had someone i want to find someone for me have been filling my head. and i never think about anything thats IMPORTANT to me anymore. like world issues and whats happening around me. and how when i hear news of the upcoming election and the war in iraq its like a fly on the wall, and i dont ever actually listen, because i dont really care anymore. because it all just fades into the wallpaper in my kitchen and i know i cant do anything to change it and it doesnt matter anyway, becuase im just a stupid teenager and i think something has broken me. and im more worried about whether or not someone has eaten all of the icecream sandwiches. and my room looks so wonderfully tragic with peeling wallpaper and liqiud stains. and i dont care if kerry or bush wins becuase i dont have a say and its all the same anyway. and i might as well stop caring. and i hate that. i hate that with a passion. and its gotten harder for me to read high level things. and im scared ive gotten more stupid. and im just scard of everything. and i hate everything. and im not sure why im being like this. but yeah. im afraid i cant get the old me back. and i miss it -------------------------------- Listening to:britney spears-everytime tell me how can i want someone so bad, and how can they be right in front of my face yet a million miles away at the same time? and someone agree with me that that isnt fair. someone better.