once, i knew a guy who had a fetish with fighting, and death. he wanted me to wear his dogtags. said "for some reason, that makes you more sexy. is that weird?" i said it wasnt. i was still in my openminded to anything phaze. if he had taken pictures of my feet and said they turned him on i would have said it wasnt weird. but then, that was probably the alcohol talking. me, i mean. once a little boy pretending to be a man told me i was wild and fun and free, and he loved that about me. then we watched the sun come up on the beach, and i cried, and he walked out of my life forever. and i couldnt stop crying. part of me, is still crying for the little boy that pretended to be a man, and i dont think it will ever stop, even after im dead. just because you go off and have polynesian sword fights doesnt make you a man, fucker. once, i died in someone's arms, to the tune of not another brick in the wall part 2. the words to that song haunt me. and then he told me that if i ever needed help he would be there, he would run across the world for me. stop lying to me, you fucking bastards. yeah...this one time, i was blind. the stars that fell, it was their fault, that i was blind. its not that hard. look in the capital letters. some things are hidden from the eye, but they are still there. but only statutory. other than that it was mutual, because i was drunk off my ass. completly. i think, maybe, right now you are as blind as i was then. about this entry. if anyone gets it, please tell. or maybe its completly obvious and im stupidly underestimating you. he told me i was smart, he told me i was beautiful. he asked me how someone so beautiful could be so sad. the rum made me think i loved him. yeah, i was blind alright. it really was my fault...i was the one that snuck out and got drunk with people i didnt know...