that is what i want to be doing right now. i look weird when i sleep, im like protecting myself or something. look, its becca sleeping, she isnt wearing a mask! no fake smile, and no makeup.
i love songs that have piano + electric guitar.
thank god for insomnia. actually, not really, but i guess since it wont leave me alone i can try to look at the situation positively?
today, aleksandra and kait came over and we took a million pictures. and made a few videos, my camera cant hold much, since it is only a digital camera with a sony memory stick. i seem to be becoming obsessed with taking pictures. i dont know why that is, but lets break things down. since everything in this present day society has a logical explanation, it could be said that i am enamoured with photography because for as long as i have my computer, or those little pieces of colorful paper that i paid to get developed, my friends and i are immortal. if i were to die, right this second, i would live on on this site because my picture is there, so someone would remember me. i guess everyone lives on for a while after they die, in the minds of others. or, maybe (god forbid we dont analyze things) its JUST FUN.
then, me kelsey cory kait and aleks went to see the movie big fish. i always love tim burton films. for real, im not kidding. but they all seem to have some deep meaning that is just out of my reach. i find what seems like hundreds of different meanings for things, but there is nothing that makes it *click*, that says OH, THAT MUST BE IT. maybe thats how it should be. his films are probably insight into his head, and no deep person has anyone that completly understands them, i think. actually, i believe no one should have anyone completly understand them, but i guess some people are simple.
everyone says that i am deep and intelligent, im really not. at least i dont think so, i can make stabs at what things are in symbolism, and half the time i understand things. but im really only deep enough to know that there is a meaning, not to know what it is every time.
one of the meanings i got from big fish is something ive been thinking about a lot lately, in part from other peoples entries, in part just because. maybe thats why i saw the meaning in it, maybe thats not what it meant at all.
it seemed to me it was about how people feel more comfortably lying to themselves and others to make them feel extraordinary and like they had a great life. and that is comfortably accepted, becuase everyone does it, and when someone goes against the norm, and makes someone feel uncomfortable, then it is bad.(i couldnt think of a better word, i must be tired if i am going back down to elementary level vocabulary. i think i need to sleep. )its like lets all look down on the different person (getting more into edward scissorhands meaning i guess..i love that movie too) not the whole thing, just like one of the meanings.
i think the whole fish in the bowl thing (a small fish will grow larger depending how big its bowl is) may represent being dragged down by stupidity in society. you know, the whole thing where the smartest kid in the class has to teach the dumbest one, so it kind of evens out, the dumbest one feels accepted and normal, but the smartest one never reaches its full potential.
if someone has no room to grow, they are chained down by closed minds (closed minds = closed walls= small areas?) then they wont. i think they will know they could have been bigger though, and wish they had a bigger bowl, which is why edward bloom (does tim burton like the name edward or something? *edward scissorhands* its like that thing in final fantasy where there is ALWAYS someone named sid. [cid? i cant remember. was that even the name?]) moved out of his small town.
i interpreted the uncatchable fish that shows up as a naked woman in the river as it showing up as what the person wants. (that other guy saw his dog from when he was little or something?) no, he doesnt want a naked woman in a river, he dreams of true love, and hopes it is real. time stops when he finds his love because he believes it will.
i dont know, im probably just rambling. no one is even going to read this far, but i have nothing else to do, since its 1 45 and i am exhausted but i cant sleep. (i dont normally get tired this early, but that mixer last night was sooo tiring...all that dancing..)
right now: i dream of the city, and the life i will have there. and i can start out new, and meet new people, and do what i want. and party. yeah, when im older, im going to party in the city. the one thing that comes close to traveling, partying (drinking and having fun)
will anyone remember me after i leave?Listening to: the distillers-drain the blood
that is what i want to be doing right now. i look weird when i sleep, im like protecting myself or something. look, its becca sleeping, she isnt wearing a mask! no fake smile, and no makeup.
i love songs that have piano + electric guitar.
thank god for insomnia. actually, not really, but i guess since it wont leave me alone i can try to look at the situation positively?
today, aleksandra and kait came over and we took a million pictures. and made a few videos, my camera cant hold much, since it is only a digital camera with a sony memory stick. i seem to be becoming obsessed with taking pictures. i dont know why that is, but lets break things down. since everything in this present day society has a logical explanation, it could be said that i am enamoured with photography because for as long as i have my computer, or those little pieces of colorful paper that i paid to get developed, my friends and i are immortal. if i were to die, right this second, i would live on on this site because my picture is there, so someone would remember me. i guess everyone lives on for a while after they die, in the minds of others. or, maybe (god forbid we dont analyze things) its JUST FUN.
then, me kelsey cory kait and aleks went to see the movie big fish. i always love tim burton films. for real, im not kidding. but they all seem to have some deep meaning that is just out of my reach. i find what seems like hundreds of different meanings for things, but there is nothing that makes it *click*, that says OH, THAT MUST BE IT. maybe thats how it should be. his films are probably insight into his head, and no deep person has anyone that completly understands them, i think. actually, i believe no one should have anyone completly understand them, but i guess some people are simple.
everyone says that i am deep and intelligent, im really not. at least i dont think so, i can make stabs at what things are in symbolism, and half the time i understand things. but im really only deep enough to know that there is a meaning, not to know what it is every time.
one of the meanings i got from big fish is something ive been thinking about a lot lately, in part from other peoples entries, in part just because. maybe thats why i saw the meaning in it, maybe thats not what it meant at all.
it seemed to me it was about how people feel more comfortably lying to themselves and others to make them feel extraordinary and like they had a great life. and that is comfortably accepted, becuase everyone does it, and when someone goes against the norm, and makes someone feel uncomfortable, then it is bad.(i couldnt think of a better word, i must be tired if i am going back down to elementary level vocabulary. i think i need to sleep. )its like lets all look down on the different person (getting more into edward scissorhands meaning i guess..i love that movie too) not the whole thing, just like one of the meanings.
i think the whole fish in the bowl thing (a small fish will grow larger depending how big its bowl is) may represent being dragged down by stupidity in society. you know, the whole thing where the smartest kid in the class has to teach the dumbest one, so it kind of evens out, the dumbest one feels accepted and normal, but the smartest one never reaches its full potential.
if someone has no room to grow, they are chained down by closed minds (closed minds = closed walls= small areas?) then they wont. i think they will know they could have been bigger though, and wish they had a bigger bowl, which is why edward bloom (does tim burton like the name edward or something? *edward scissorhands* its like that thing in final fantasy where there is ALWAYS someone named sid. [cid? i cant remember. was that even the name?]) moved out of his small town.
i interpreted the uncatchable fish that shows up as a naked woman in the river as it showing up as what the person wants. (that other guy saw his dog from when he was little or something?) no, he doesnt want a naked woman in a river, he dreams of true love, and hopes it is real. time stops when he finds his love because he believes it will.
i dont know, im probably just rambling. no one is even going to read this far, but i have nothing else to do, since its 1 45 and i am exhausted but i cant sleep. (i dont normally get tired this early, but that mixer last night was sooo tiring...all that dancing..)
right now: i dream of the city, and the life i will have there. and i can start out new, and meet new people, and do what i want. and party. yeah, when im older, im going to party in the city. the one thing that comes close to traveling, partying (drinking and having fun)
will anyone remember me after i leave?Read 14 comments